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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Human activities have a negative effect on plant and animal species. Some people say that it is too late to do anything. Some people think that we should take effective action to improve the situation. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. ??

#activities #effect #plant #species #people #action #situation
The main household
expenditures
 in
Japan
 and
Malaysia
 are
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
 in the two different pie charts. These nations show various patterns, though there is a number of similarities,
both
 significant and minor.
For example
, the
expenditures
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditure
show examples
 on food
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 almost equal in
both
 countries and the only difference between them is 3%.
Also
 it
necessary
Add a missing verb
is necessary
show examples
 to say about housing, which contains
expenditures
both
 on rent and buying of apartments, well, the housing in
Malaysia
 is more expensive than in
Japan
,
that is
 why people spend
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
 of
money
Correct pronoun usage
their money
show examples
 there. The expenditure on transport is two times more in
Japan
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 than in another submitted country, where it cost cheaper,
that is
 why people in
Malaysia
 spend only 10 % of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 income. The same situation we see in
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 care sphere.
Thus
 in
Japan
 people spend about 6% which is more
in
Change preposition
than
show examples
 twice,
than
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 in
Japan
.
Then
, the pie charts show us only the main categories of
population’s
Correct article usage
the population’s
show examples
expenditures
 and the category of other goods and services like clothes,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
etс
Correct your spelling
etc
. collect 29% in
Japan
 which is higher in 3% than in
Malaysia
.
To sum
up
Add a comma
,up
show examples
both
 countries have almost the same
expenditures
 in all basic spheres, except health care and one of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
 is
more
Correct article usage
the more
show examples
 healthy lifestyle in
Japan
.
Submitted by dulskywork on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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