Individual greed and selfishness have been the basis of modern society. Some people think that we must return to the older and more traditional values of respect for the family and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Individualism has been gradually rooted in
society
as our evolution and civilization progress. It is considered that holding the traditional and ancestor principles is the best approach to make
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
social life, particularly in the value of respect both to family members and to
society
. I firmly agree
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
that solution
due to
some justifications,
such
as maintaining family harmony and increasing the sense of solidarity in
society
. The foremost reason is to maintain unity in the households.
It is clear that
family is the closest people that usually give us the hands to help us if we have severe conditions (very bad conditions). Respecting them, can increase their empathy for us and maintain harmonious relationships among family members.
Thus
, when someone has sadness or serious problems they can assist us to gain a solution.
For instance
, when the family has a medical need that requires
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
money to get medication in the hospital, giving them financial assistance, of course, can
lead
Verb problem
make
show examples
them happy so that in the future they can
also
do the same to help us.
In addition
, becoming greedy and selfish individuals can get jeered by the community. Because social life is inclined to uphold solidarity values among them. Meanwhile, selfishness and egotism are far from the basis of solidarity itself.
Consequently
, not only will be they avoided by
society
, but
also
they can get negative attitudes as well. Taking Pancasila as the ideology of Indonesia as an example. From the beginning, when Soekarno proposed his ideas about national basis (Pancasila), he mentioned that unity in diversity is the biggest reason behind the five principles of Pancasila, so that those who do not follow that, represent that they do not want to become social members of Indonesia. To summarise, to make a better life in humanity or family, maintaining our respect and sympathy for them is salient because it can
make
Verb problem
create
show examples
harmony in the family and lead make unity in
society
.
Submitted by hoangthoakinhte on

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Provide more specific examples and elaborate on your points to strengthen your arguments further.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay. Include a stronger introduction and conclusion to frame your argument effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • modern society
  • traditional values
  • familial bonds
  • community ties
  • collective well-being
  • individual gain
  • responsibility
  • care for others
  • neglect
  • isolation
  • honesty
  • respect
  • cooperation
  • individual greed
  • ethical conduct
  • social cohesion
  • crime rates
  • mental health
  • general happiness
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