IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people say that health care and education should be the responsibility of the government but others think that it is the responsibility of the individuals themselves Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #people #health #care #education #responsibility #government #individuals
Some people say that
health
care
 and
education
 should be the responsibility of the
government
 but others think that it is the responsibility of the individuals themselves. WORK Nowadays,
both
education
 and
health
care
 play a major role in our life. some people
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
 that the
government
 should free them all, but others believed that they are individually responsible for it. But first I going to discuss
both
 of my
view
Change to a plural noun
views
show examples
 before giving my opinion On the first hand, giving free schooling and
health
care
both
 has positive and negative effects. On the positive side providing
fee
Correct your spelling
free
show examples
education
 can help all children with financial problems go to school and study so they can easily get a better job after
graduate
Replace the word
graduation
show examples
 not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
worry about school fees and concentrate
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 learning, next is
health
care
, some low-income
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 can now access to some medicine
such
 as diabetes and other critical sickness. And to pay for all of that the
government
 can do it by taxation.
On the other hand
, some individuals
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are responsible for
health
care
 and
Education
 themselves because
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will might be a chance of the hospital
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 overloaded and can be a problem
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 others who really need it. But free
education
 is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different it can increase the percentage of employment in some
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
. In conclusion, there are
both
 good and bad
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 freeing and paying for service. In my opinion, the
government
 should pay for the service who really needed it
Submitted by thuylqd76 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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