IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some believe that it is beneficial to show foreign films while others feel this can have a negetive impact on local culture. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #show #films #negetive #impact #culture
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It is argued that
diplaying
Correct your spelling
playing
movies
Use synonyms
 from
another countries
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
show examples
 would have benefits
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 society. But some
people
Use synonyms
 believe
this
Linking Words
 would negatively affect the culture of the country. In
this
Linking Words
 essay
these
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
both views will be discussed.
However
Linking Words
, it is an undeniable fact that the
world
Use synonyms
 has become
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
closer
due to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
globalization and cultural differences have influenced many societies where every entertainment media has imposed some influence
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 peoples' life.
Firstly
Linking Words
, films that are made outside of the country have different cultural backgrounds, which
audience
Correct article usage
the audience
show examples
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
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 and might find
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
interesting and entertaining. In the meantime, they gain more exposure to traditions.
This
Linking Words
 would help to understand and improve human interactions in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Especially, in a multinational country where
people
Use synonyms
 live together in
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 neighbourhood would get to know each
others
Change to a genitive case
other's
show examples
 cultural desires.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 experience various types of entertainment through
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 films.
For example
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, the Avatar movie was superhit all around the
world
Use synonyms
 because of the 3D effects and graphics used and it had never caused any cultural impact in the
world
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that some
movies
Use synonyms
 might impose negativity on the culture.
This
Linking Words
 can happen because of the violence and drawback effects on human feelings. Some
people
Use synonyms
 may concern about the psychological behaviours of the community after
such
Linking Words
movies
Use synonyms
. For
instant
Add an article
an instant
show examples
, some
movies
Use synonyms
 about war may impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peoples'
Change noun form
people's
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 mentality to think
other
Change preposition
of other
show examples
 nationalities as enemies. I strongly believe that some
movies
Use synonyms
 with violence would bring crons in
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 mind whether it is foreign or not. It is important to know other cultures and live
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 harmony and these types of entertainment bring more experience
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 human beings. As the
world
Use synonyms
grow
Change the verb form
grows
show examples
 and
people
Use synonyms
 are living in a global village it is important to know and respect others cultures and
this
Linking Words
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 a better platform for that.
To conclude
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,
movies
Use synonyms
 from other countries are advantageous to watch
although
Linking Words
 some might have disadvantages over the cultural backgrounds.
Submitted by anushakdu1982 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural exchange
  • cross-cultural collaboration
  • global diversity
  • cultural homogenization
  • national identity
  • cultural heritage
  • international film industry
  • dilution of culture
  • overshadow
  • perspectives
  • creativity and innovation
  • economic benefits
  • viewership
  • narratives
  • preferences
What to do next:
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