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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the average hours worked per day by married men and women in paid employment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the average hours worked per day by married men and women in paid employment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#hours #men #women #employment #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The chart shows the average
hours
Use synonyms
 spent working per
day
Use synonyms
 by married couples in paid employment between the age of twenty-four to forty-four and forty-five to sixty-four. There
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 almost no difference between the
time
Use synonyms
 spent by husbands
nor
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 wives from different ages. The males all use about seven and two
hours
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 paid employment and a half
hours
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 housework per
day
Use synonyms
. And married women all spend about ten
hours
Use synonyms
 of their
day
Use synonyms
 working even though, the younger wives spend a bit more
time
Use synonyms
 doing housework, and the older ones spend a bit more on their jobs. But the differences between both genders
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 quite noticeable: the male partners spend more
time
Use synonyms
 on their professions than their wives, whilst women use a larger proportion of their
day
Use synonyms
 doing housework and working in general.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
time
Use synonyms
 spent on different types of work does not vary between people of the same gender despite the change
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their age; and women spend more
time
Use synonyms
 caring,
although
Linking Words
 their partners spend more
time
Use synonyms
 in their professions.
Submitted by cwizjr on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, day, time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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