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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011, and 2015. Summarize the information by selectng and reporting the man features, and makee comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of households in the US by their annual income in 2007, 2011, and 2015. Summarize the information by selectng and reporting the man features, and makee comparisons where relevant.
#households #income #information #selectng #man #features #makee #comparisons
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The given table illustrates the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of
American
Use synonyms
households
Use synonyms
 by their five different
categories
Use synonyms
 of annual salary in 2007, 2011, and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that the average
American
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
households
Fix the agreement mistake
household
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 had the highest annual
income
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there
was
Change the verb form
were
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 no significant differences
of
Change preposition
in
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 annual salary
categories
Use synonyms
 in
three
Correct article usage
the three
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 reported years. Looking at the details, in 2007, 25 million
of
Change preposition
apply
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US
households
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 earned less than $25,000, and the number of US
citizen
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citizens
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 who got $25,000-$49,999
higher
Add a missing verb
was higher
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 than
previous
Change preposition
in previous
show examples
categories
Use synonyms
 at around 27
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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of
Change preposition
apply
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people.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
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American
Fix the agreement mistake
Americans
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 who got $50,000 to $99,000 less than
two
Correct article usage
the two
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 previous
categories
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, in 2011, most US
households
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 got
yearly
Correct article usage
a yearly
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income
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
of
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 $25,000-$49,999.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there was almost
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
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 number of
Use synonyms
American
Fix the agreement mistake
Americans
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 who earned the lowest
income
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 and the highest
income
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 in
this
Linking Words
 year.
Finally
Linking Words
, the number of people who earned the highest
income
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categories
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 rose to around 33 million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people in 2015.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words american, households, categories, income with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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