The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#media #interaction #people #society

It is the case that thanks to the development of social

media

, a number of

people

prefer to keep in contact with others through social

media

instead

than

Correct word choice

show examples

face-to-face interaction.

While

this

tendency might bring some benefits, its drawbacks outweigh the advantages. On the one hand, there are some potential benefits for

people

who use social

media

such

Facebook

and Twitter to contact others.

Firstly

, it is convenient for family members or friends to keep in touch.

Therefore

people

living overseas

due to

their studies and work

commitment

Fix the agreement mistake

commitments

show examples

can keep in touch with their loved ones by

doing

Verb problem

using

show examples

Facebook

Messenger.

Secondly

, social

media

allows

people

to widen their circle of friendship.

This

helps them to post photos and to give comments.

For example

, when we do

Facebook

, thanks to our

Facebook

friend's account, we might find our old friends that we

use

Wrong verb form

used

show examples

to study together in secondary school.

On the other hand

, several

disadvantaged

Fix the agreement mistake

disadvantages

show examples

can be anticipated behind

this

trend. One of the main drawbacks is that spending much time talking about online relationships may destroy our real conversations with those living near us. Real conversations

toneed

Verb problem

apply

show examples

apply all our senses

such

as touching and eye contact.

For example

, when a person gets stressed and wants to comfort

this

Correct pronoun usage

him

show examples

, it is more effective for him to share

this

with his family or

friend

Fix the agreement mistake

friends

show examples

in person.

Additionally

, social

media

can bring danger to our personal information. A good example is that if someone can expose our important information through our social account, our bank account and personal details would be at risk. In conclusion, there are several advantages of

this

trend, it seems to me that the disadvantages are more than the merits.

Submitted by mtgngocanh on Mon Jun 26 2023

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas more coherently.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your introduction and conclusion effectively address the topic question.

task achievement

Develop your response to the task question more completely and provide more specific examples to support your ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

283 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of all the societies. Do you think art and music still have a place in today's modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?

Write a letter to a friend telling him about an interesting website you found. Tell your friend – How you found it?How it can help?How you use it?

It is generally seen that most working people do not do enough physical exercise What are the reasons behind this? How can this problem be solved?

In most successful companies, some people think that communication between employers and workers is the most important factor, while other people say that other factors are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe more actions can be taken to prevent crime, while others think that little can be done. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.