The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It is the case that thanks to the development of social
media
, a number of
people
prefer to keep in contact with others through social
media
instead
than
Correct word choice
of
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face-to-face interaction.
While
this
tendency might bring some benefits, its drawbacks outweigh the advantages. On the one hand, there are some potential benefits for
people
who use social
media
,
such
as
Facebook
and Twitter to contact others.
Firstly
, it is convenient for family members or friends to keep in touch.
Therefore
,
people
living overseas
due to
their studies and work
commitment
Fix the agreement mistake
commitments
show examples
can keep in touch with their loved ones by
doing
Verb problem
using
show examples
Facebook
Messenger.
Secondly
, social
media
allows
people
to widen their circle of friendship.
This
helps them to post photos and to give comments.
For example
, when we do
Facebook
, thanks to our
Facebook
friend's account, we might find our old friends that we
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
to study together in secondary school.
On the other hand
, several
disadvantaged
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
can be anticipated behind
this
trend. One of the main drawbacks is that spending much time talking about online relationships may destroy our real conversations with those living near us. Real conversations
toneed
Verb problem
apply
show examples
apply all our senses
such
as touching and eye contact.
For example
, when a person gets stressed and wants to comfort
this
Correct pronoun usage
him
show examples
, it is more effective for him to share
this
with his family or
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
in person.
Additionally
, social
media
can bring danger to our personal information. A good example is that if someone can expose our important information through our social account, our bank account and personal details would be at risk. In conclusion, there are several advantages of
this
trend, it seems to me that the disadvantages are more than the merits.
Submitted by mtgngocanh on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas more coherently.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion effectively address the topic question.
task achievement
Develop your response to the task question more completely and provide more specific examples to support your ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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