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Writing Samples
Band 5

In the future, it may be necessary for us to live on another planet. For this reason, some people believe that we should spend money now researching planets that could be a possible home, such as Mars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#future #planet #reason #people #money #planets #home
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Humans are on the verge of visiting and exploring the possibility of survival on other
planets
, with Mars being
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 top
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the list.
While
 some believe that we should utilize our
resources
 in researching
planets
, others say that it is
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
poor utilization of valuable
resources
. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the considerable costs associated with space
exploration
 and argue that these funds could be more effectively employed in enhancing conditions on our home planet, Earth. The cost of space
exploration
 normally ranges in hundreds of million dollars, requiring years for project completion and hiring top talents from the market. All
this
 together consumes a huge proportion of research funds of a nation, which could have been utilized in other areas.
Moreover
, these projects have a very high rate of failure, in 1986 NASA space
exploration
 rocket exploded moments after its launch causing
loss
Correct article usage
a loss
show examples
 of millions of dollars and killing all the crew members. These funds can be better utilized on other factors like investing in non-renewable
resources
 of energy, education and
health
Correct article usage
the health
show examples
 sector. Spending
money
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
underprivileged populations can eliminate hunger,
illiteracy
Correct word choice
and illiteracy
show examples
 in society, thereby making the lives of these people better. Contrary to
this
 perspective, there are those who emphasize and support the
exploration
 of other
planets
, particularly Mars.
For Instance
, Elon Musk is spending billions of dollars on Mars
exploration
 to make our species multi-planetary. He believes that we will deplete all the natural
resources
 of
earth
Correct your spelling
Earth
show examples
 one day and
we
Correct word choice
that we
show examples
 need to colonize other
planets
 for our future
species
Change noun form
species'
specy's
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 survival. One more reason posed by various scientists to explore other
planets
 is to search for new minerals and
resources
. There are various compounds and elements which are yet not explored by human beings
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 could be present on these
planets
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 we should spend
money
 on improving the state of our planet first before exploring the other
planets
. Spending a lot of
money
 on Mars
exploration
 right now is unnecessary and
this
money
 can be better utilized to eradicate poverty, unemployment, and hunger from Earth.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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