You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
The topic of whether
government
should pay for Add an article
the government
retirees
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
controversiol
and causing issues in many countries all around the world. I've come out with several opinions Correct your spelling
controversial
as well as
some knowledges
, with relevant examples to support my statements.
Providing Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
money
directly to retirees
is not a
Change the article
an
apporpriate
option. Correct your spelling
appropriate
Retirees
without good money
managing knowledges
would waste those funds privided on Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
unnecesary
items or activities, causing a bigger financial Correct your spelling
unnecessary
loop hole
which required more financial Correct your spelling
loophole
aids
to solve. Fix the agreement mistake
aid
This
issue has been proven in socialist
Add an article
a socialist
the socialist
country
such
as North Korea, where government
aids promotes laziness to their people and reduce competition among
their society, Change preposition
in
and
Correct word choice
apply
further
reduce
their Wrong verb form
reducing
country
's productivicty
.
Correct your spelling
productivity
However
, it is somehow selfish to people who think they should'nt
aid the Correct your spelling
shouldn't
retirees
. A clear example on
Change preposition
of
this
can be seen in capitalist
Add an article
a capitalist
the capitalist
country
such
as the United States, where the
veteran Correct article usage
apply
wasn't receives
enough Change the verb form
didn't receive
supports
from the Fix the agreement mistake
support
government
,and forced
to live Add a missing verb
are forced
homeless
. Change the adjective
homelessly
Besides
, the plan of saving up money
for retirement
might be interupted
by unexpected events, Correct your spelling
interrupted
such
as medical payments, children's tuition fees or etc. It is also
inhumane to reject people who needs
helps. Change the verb form
need
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
retirees
are considered as
weaker Correct your spelling
a
groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group
of
our society as most of them already lost the ability to work and some of them would even need serious medical Change preposition
in
attentions
, which could be costly in Fix the agreement mistake
attention
long
term.
In my opinion, Correct article usage
the long
government
are not obliged to financially support the Add an article
the government
retirees
in our country
. In order to overcome this
issue, government
actions or statues
should be set up, to make sure the Correct your spelling
statutes
citizens
are able to save up sufficient amount
of Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
money
to prepare for their retirements
. State actions Fix the agreement mistake
retirement
such
a
deductionCorrect your spelling
as
a
small portion of Change preposition
of a
citizens
' income, and save
it in a saving account for their Wrong verb form
saving
up coming
Correct your spelling
upcoming
retirement
. An
successful example regarding Change the article
A
this
opinion can be seen in Malaysia, where 10% of Malaysian's
income will be deducted upon Correct your spelling
Malaysia's
receving
Correct your spelling
receiving
,
and deposited in a Remove the comma
apply
state controlled
saving agency. The Add a hyphen
state-controlled
citizens
will only allow to use it after their retirement
. The government
can also
funds the
public hospitals and clinics, to improve the medical quality and services of our local medical centre. In Correct article usage
apply
this
case, the retirees
would able to enjoy a better quality of medical treatment with the same amount of money
they pay for. This
has also
been proven in Malaysia, where their citizens
would only need to pay 2 Ringgits Malaysia in order to access full medical treatements
at their local public hospitals and clinics.
In conclusion, the Correct your spelling
treatments
treatment
government
should'nt
Correct your spelling
shouldn't
giving
Wrong verb form
give
money
directly to the
Correct article usage
apply
retirees
as such
action
could promote laziness. Correct article usage
an action
Such
action could also
increase the financial burden of the country
, causing government
to reduce the budgets from other sources in order to continue their funding towards the Add an article
the government
retirees
, which is unfair to other group
of Change the wording
another group
other groups
citizens
. Nevertheless
, the interests of retirees
should be taking
care of as they are Wrong verb form
taken
also
part of the country
, and they contributed to the country
as well before their retirement
. State officials should seek a balance when providing assistance, and overcome issues with
as proportionate ways as possible.Change preposition
in
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Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.