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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Most of the world's poor live in countries where tourism is a growing industry. The issue is that tourism does not benefit the poorest. How can the incomes generate by tourism benefir the poor? And how can we ensure that tourism does not destroy traditional cultures and ways of life?

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After the pandemic of covid, the
tourism
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 industry become
growing
Wrong verb form
grown
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 and increase significantly.
As a result
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 of that situation, it makes the economy of the
countries
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also
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 enhance.
However
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,
this
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effect
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 is not just for the
countries
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 but
also
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 can affect poor
people
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. The
effect
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 can be worse or great.
Tourism
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countries
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 can make a lot of new opportunities for jobs and reduce the unemployment rate. Another benefit
effect
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, the tourist will know more about the local product and boost their
businesses
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 as well.
Nevertheless
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, it will not be an advantage to the country if the tourist
build
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builds
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 a new company. Not all foreign
businesses
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 want to hire local
people
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 to work together. At the same time, it will impact
for
Change preposition
apply
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local
businesses
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 and the economic industry will depend
to
Change preposition
on
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 foreign
businesses
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. In my opinion,
people
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 who are
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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 will not destroy traditional
cultures
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.
In other words
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, precisely they want to learn and have a curiosity about traditional
cultures
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such
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 as history, art, and food. But some
countries
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 in the world do not like
people
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 to know the local
cultures
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, some of them thought
that is
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 a disrespectful way. They think their local
cultures
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 are their identity. In conclusion, there are some negatives and positives
effect
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 of
tourism
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 for the poorest.
Tourism
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 can create
a
Correct article usage
apply
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job
vacancy
Fix the agreement mistake
vacancies
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 and raise the employment rate.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, it will be a problem if tourists create a new business because some of them just want to hire foreign
people
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.
Also
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, I think that they will respect their local
Use synonyms
cultures
Fix the agreement mistake
culture
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 since they have an interest in it.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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