Childhood obesity is increasing in Australia. As many as two third of children are now obese. Schools have a responsibility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree with this statement?

Obesity is one trendy health problem in Australia but it is particularly common among
children
and about two third of these
children
suffer from
this
condition. It is the duty of academic institutions to review what these
youngsters
consume and the workouts they do. I agree that schools should monitor the food and fitness of their pupils .
To begin
with, combating obesity among
children
will require academic institutions to employ a
dietician
to watch the food these offspring eat at school or teachers should review their meals when on break to know what exactly these
youngsters
consume when at school. They should
also
make sure to educate these kids on the health consequences of consuming much sugar foods or junk foods and sweets since they always crave them.
For instance
, I remember my junior sister's school has a
dietician
who reviews the snacks and food she brings to the institution and the one the seminary feed the
children
with.
Furthermore
, the
dietician
should have a health session every week on the curriculum to talk about exercise
youngsters
should engage in
such
as an hour walk, running, swimming, skipping etc. with parents for them to stay healthy.
In addition
, parents
also
play a role in
this
since these young kids grow and develop certain behaviour at home and self-discipline in eating habits starts from there. They should check what they consume or buy for their
children
and the amount of junk meal should be frowned upon.Again, they should have a weekend walk calendar where the
youngsters
can engage in fitness activities. In conclusion, I agree with the statement and believe a
dietician
should be available on the faculty ground to monitor the eating habits of students and educate them on good exercise habits. Teachers should
also
teach them a good diet for their well-being and assume the position of the parent to help ensure they eat healthily and avoid junk foodstuff.
Submitted by dede on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: