Many men and women are making the decision to have children later in life. Why is this trend occurring? What are the impacts of this development on both family and society? Give reason from your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge?

#men #women #decision #children #life #trend #impacts #development #society #reason

Starting a family is an important decision that has significant implications for society. In recent years, more and more parents are delaying family planning.

This

essay will discuss the underlying causes for

this

trend

as well as

its effect on both, society at large and family in general. First of all, People are more focused on their career advancement and delaying their decision to have children. A study by Oxford University has shown that millennials on average, will delay the birth of their first child by two years to achieve a managerial position. The high cost of home ownership is

also

preventing young people from starting families. The Canadian government believes that the country is facing a deficit of 10,000 babies per year

due to

the high price of single-family homes.

As a result

, the combination of the high cost of living and focus on career development is responsible for the breakdown of the traditional family structure. The delay in the decision to have children is creating a generational gap between parents and their kids. Washington Post published a survey that showed 90% of kids do not share their parents' hobbies and passions. These diverging interests are responsible for the degradation of family life.

Moreover

this

gap is

also

reducing the number of workers available to support pensioners. The World Bank believes that most pension plans will run out of money

due to

this

societal shift. Some nations like Japan are giving money to families to reverse

this

trend. To summarize, the cost of living crisis and career-focused youngsters are responsible for

this

issue. Society should focus on reversing

this

trend to preserve the current world order. Governments should encourage people to have children at an early age by providing monetary incentives.

Submitted by rajanbhardwaj1997 on Wed Jun 28 2023

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coherence cohesion

Improve the introduction and conclusion to provide a clearer summary of the main points. Ensure that the essay maintains a clear outline of the logical structure throughout.

task achievement

The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task question and presents clear ideas with relevant examples. Make sure to address the impacts of the development on both family and society in more detail.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many men and women are making the decision to have children later in life. Why is this trend occurring? What are the impacts of this development on both family and society? Give reason from your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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