Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.  

Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays,
people
are gradually
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
show examples
about their health and well-being, especially the healthy lifestyle and the clean
food
they consume.
However
, many manufactories produce
food
and beverages with high
sugar
, which contaminated customers' health severely.
Thus
, some
people
claim that
sugar
products should charge customers a higher
price
to encourage
people
to consume less
sugar
. From my perspective of view, I don't agree with that, and
this
essay will explain why. On the one hand, less
sugar
consumption
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
contribute to one's health,
however
, a healthy lifestyle contains many factors, which are not only what we eat, but
also
what's our daily habits.
For example
, if you eat less
sugar
, but with some toxic habits, smoking
for instance
,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
may have no difference with a higher
sugar
-consuming person.
On the other hand
,
sugar
is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
essential industrial resource, if we raise the
price
, a lot of goods will be affected, which may range from the
food
we take to the clothes we wear.
In addition
, if the
price
of
sugar
products goes up, fewer
people
will buy them, which may possibly cause an economic recession, and the farmers who plant the
sugar
cane will be affected tremendously. In my opinion, a healthy lifestyle should
focusing
Change the verb form
focus
be focusing
show examples
not only on what we eat but
also
on what our habits are.
For example
, we can take exercise regularly and sleep on time.
Moreover
, sometimes a bit of
sugar
biscuit can promote the feeling of happiness when you are in stress. In conclusion, as
sugar
is not only for
food
, but performs an irreplaceable role in our contemporary world, we cannot merely up the
price
of
sugar
products, which may foster more harm than good.
Submitted by leejingsong0808 on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • health problems
  • manufactured food and drink products
  • sugary products
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • discourage
  • promote
  • healthier choices
  • reduce
  • increased taxes
  • fund
  • health education
  • prevention programs
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