Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people

Nowadays,

people

are gradually

concern

Wrong verb form

concerned

show examples

about their health and well-being, especially the healthy lifestyle and the clean

food

they consume.

However

, many manufactories produce

food

and beverages with high

sugar

, which contaminated customers' health severely.

Thus

, some

people

claim that

sugar

products should charge customers a higher

price

to encourage

people

to consume less

sugar

. From my perspective of view, I don't agree with that, and

this

essay will explain why. On the one hand, less

sugar

consumption

Change the verb form

does

show examples

contribute to one's health,

however

, a healthy lifestyle contains many factors, which are not only what we eat, but

also

what's our daily habits.

For example

, if you eat less

sugar

, but with some toxic habits, smoking

for instance

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

may have no difference with a higher

sugar

-consuming person.

On the other hand

sugar

Change the article

show examples

essential industrial resource, if we raise the

price

, a lot of goods will be affected, which may range from the

food

we take to the clothes we wear.

In addition

, if the

price

sugar

products goes up, fewer

people

will buy them, which may possibly cause an economic recession, and the farmers who plant the

sugar

cane will be affected tremendously. In my opinion, a healthy lifestyle should

focusing

Change the verb form

focus

be focusing

show examples

not only on what we eat but

also

on what our habits are.

For example

, we can take exercise regularly and sleep on time.

Moreover

, sometimes a bit of

sugar

biscuit can promote the feeling of happiness when you are in stress. In conclusion, as

sugar

is not only for

food

, but performs an irreplaceable role in our contemporary world, we cannot merely up the

price

sugar

products, which may foster more harm than good.

Submitted by leejingsong0808 on Wed Jun 28 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar; which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the lives of ordinary people more than recent developments ever will. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some students choose to work or travel after leaving school and before going to university. Many people, however, say that working experience is more useful in adult life than travel. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

Advances in science and technology and other areas of society in the last 100 years have transformed the way we live as postponing the day we die. There is no better time to be alive than now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?