IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

The charts below give information on the consumption of water by agricultural products in Australia in 2014, and the share of income they produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the consumption of water by agricultural products in Australia in 2014, and the share of income they produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #consumption #water #products #australia #income #summarise #features #comparisons
The given two pie charts illustrate
water
 usage and earnings proportions in different agricultural sectors in Australia in the year 2014.
Overall
, the
livestock
 and
rice
 sectors became the largest and the smallest consumers of
water
 respectively.
On the other hand
, the fruit and
livestock
 ones did the same in the
income
. It's noticeable that despite using the most amount of
water
, the
livestock
 sector's share was the smallest
one
 when it comes to
income
 generation. In
water
 usage, the
livestock
, fruit and dairy products' percentages were the highest competitors with 36%, 21% and 19% respectively.
However
, when it comes to making
income
, the fruits had a proportion of 36% being the top contributor. The dairy
one
 made 21%
while
 the oxen
one
 made 5% being the smallest competitor.
On the other hand
, the sugar, the other and the
rice
 products had percentages of 10, 9 and 5 in
water
 usage respectively. In the matter of
income
 generation, they kept the same percentages excluding the
rice
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
. The
rice
one
's rate became the third-best with 19%.
Submitted by firsturdiev on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, livestock, rice, income, one with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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