IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below give information on the consumption of water by agricultural products in Australia in 2014, and the share of income they produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the consumption of water by agricultural products in Australia in 2014, and the share of income they produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given two pie charts illustrate
water
Use synonyms
 usage and earnings proportions in different agricultural sectors in Australia in the year 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
livestock
Use synonyms
 and
rice
Use synonyms
 sectors became the largest and the smallest consumers of
water
Use synonyms
 respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the fruit and
livestock
Use synonyms
 ones did the same in the
income
Use synonyms
. It's noticeable that despite using the most amount of
water
Use synonyms
, the
livestock
Use synonyms
 sector's share was the smallest
one
Use synonyms
 when it comes to
income
Use synonyms
 generation. In
water
Use synonyms
 usage, the
livestock
Use synonyms
, fruit and dairy products' percentages were the highest competitors with 36%, 21% and 19% respectively.
However
Linking Words
, when it comes to making
income
Use synonyms
, the fruits had a proportion of 36% being the top contributor. The dairy
one
Use synonyms
 made 21%
while
Linking Words
 the oxen
one
Use synonyms
 made 5% being the smallest competitor.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the sugar, the other and the
rice
Use synonyms
 products had percentages of 10, 9 and 5 in
water
Use synonyms
 usage respectively. In the matter of
income
Use synonyms
 generation, they kept the same percentages excluding the
rice
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
. The
rice
Use synonyms
one
Use synonyms
's rate became the third-best with 19%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, livestock, rice, income, one with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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