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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

some companies sponsor support as a way to advertise themselves. some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. discuss both side and give your opinion.

Nowadays,we can see
advertise
Replace the word
advertisements
show examples
 in our daily life
for instance
Linking Words
 in
street
Correct article usage
the street
show examples
, on
biuldings
Correct your spelling
buildings
 and
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
who their
Correct pronoun usage
whose
show examples
 works are about advertising, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other words, give information
their
Change preposition
about their
show examples
 company to
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.
Generaly
Correct your spelling
Generally
, propaganda became a part of life,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not happy with
this
Linking Words
 situation to contrast with
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
Correct article usage
a posetive
show examples
posetive
Correct your spelling
positive
 perspective and believes it has benefit. In following the sentences, I will explain both beliefs and will give my opinion. On the one hand, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
problem
Add an article
a problem
show examples
 with it, their reason would be their time of life
for example
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their phone takes a lot of time for advertising, even in their home
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 advertiser come and do advertise. It will
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
people
Use synonyms
tierd
Correct your spelling
tired
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 when they
Add the particle
towant
show examples
want
Correct your spelling
won't
show examples
 do their work and job, insomuch they face with it.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 when
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 open one site
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Correct your spelling
Internet
show examples
 I have to delete lots of propaganda and I
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
show examples
 focus
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 my topic and
also
Linking Words
 when we
watching
Wrong verb form
watch
show examples
film
Correct article usage
a film
show examples
 or
Correct article usage
a sport
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 competition.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, advertising
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 some advantages that
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 like them and do not have
Correct article usage
a defficalty
show examples
defficalty
Correct your spelling
difficulty
 with them. One of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 advantages might get amused
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 it since
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when sponsors want to get attention, make funny or musical for being attractive.
That is
Linking Words
 why some
people
Use synonyms
 like it.
To sum up
Linking Words
, in my point of view,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
everything should
be balance
Change the verb form
be balanced
show examples
. Personally, I enjoy
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some
advertise
Change the form of the verb
advertising
show examples
,
although
Linking Words
 if it is too much and long I would get annoyed. I think some
people
Use synonyms
 have
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 opinion
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 me.

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