some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. how might having a lot of money make people happy? what other things in life can make people happy?

plenty of individuals hold the idea that possessing a great amount of
money
is the major reason to be happy. I personally opine that having
money
usually brings self-confidence and
power
which are the most important reasons that bring happiness to
people
.
However
, having a
supporting
Replace the word
supportive
show examples
family and a healthy body have undeniable effects on
people
's good
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
. Being rich provides you
the
Add the preposition
with the
show examples
opportunity to purchase almost everything you want that most
people
often can't afford and it brings
conscious
Add an article
a conscious
show examples
or unconscious sense of
power
. Wealthy
people
can wear more fashionable,
costy
Correct your spelling
costly
cosy
clothes and accessories
such
as watches and sunglasses or are able to drive luxurious cars and reside in
million dollar
Add a hyphen
million-dollar
show examples
houses.
Therefore
, they feel they can gain whatever they desire
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
creates
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
sense of confidence.Having the
power
to achieve what you want creates satisfaction and joy,
say
Correct subject-verb agreement
says
show examples
Dr.
Change the punctuation
Dr
show examples
Hawking the professor of psychology and hypnoses based on the results of his recent research.
Although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the importance of wealth is
undenyable
Correct your spelling
undeniable
, there are fundamental factors that can always bring cheer like a supportive family and being mentally and physically healthy when encountering an issue, you will need a confidant, reliable person who can consult you and come up with a solution and who can be a better option
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
a family member who has been through ups and downs with you?
Moreover
, suffering from incurable illnesses
such
as some types of
cancers
Fix the agreement mistake
cancer
show examples
or HIV will keep you far away from enjoying your dear
money
when you are in pain. In conclusion, many are of the opinion that
money
equals happiness.
Although
, it can build self-confidence and
Power
, having a trustable folk and
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
body are the other ways to have the same feeling.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial security
  • Basic needs
  • Comfort
  • Luxury
  • Freedom
  • Altruistic
  • Philanthropy
  • Nurturing relationships
  • Fulfillment
  • Sense of accomplishment
  • Physical well-being
  • Spiritual beliefs
  • Community involvement
  • Gratitude
  • Mindfulness
  • Simple pleasures
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