IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart gives employment and education statistics for eight European countries in 2015.

The chart gives employment and education statistics for eight European countries in 2015.
#employment #education #statistics #eight #european #countries
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The table gives information about percentages of people with and without a job, with
college
Correct article usage
a college
show examples
 or university education and
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
 in eight different
countries
Use synonyms
 in Europe.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see that there are two groups of
countries
Use synonyms
, half of the
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 have high
Use synonyms
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 and low unemployment and half have low
Use synonyms
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 and high unemployment. The first group of
countries
Use synonyms
 is Austria, Luxembourg, Norway and
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
. All of them have
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 than 70% employment rate except
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 Luxembourg which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has 66.1%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, all four have more than 40%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 with a degree except
from
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
Austria at 30.6%.
Finally
Linking Words
, all four have
average
Add an article
an average
show examples
Use synonyms
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 above 20000
euroes
Correct your spelling
euros
 and Norway is the highest
salary
Use synonyms
 at 41483
euroes
Correct your spelling
euros
. The other group is Bulgaria, Greece, Latvia and Portugal. All of them have less than
70
Correct article usage
a 70
show examples
% Employment rate and Greece is
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is 50.8%. With regard to education, all of them have less than 30% of the population who are
gradutes
Correct your spelling
graduates
 except
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Latvia where
Correct article usage
the gradute
show examples
gradute
Correct your spelling
graduate
 rate is 31.6%.
Linking Words
Finally
Add a comma
,Finally
show examples
 all four of the
countries
Use synonyms
 have an average
salary
Use synonyms
 of
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 than ten thousand
euroes
Correct your spelling
euros
 and Bulgaria has
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 at 3332.
Submitted by yashrrajput46 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words salary, countries with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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