IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: The young today spend a large amount of their leisure time in shopping centres. It is feared that this could have a negative influence on the young and society. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this view? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #amount #leisure #time #centres #influence #society
Shopping centres are becoming a trend for youngsters nowadays, as most of their leisure time is spent on purchasing products.
Therefore
 a gut feeling that it would effects negatively to teens and the community. I spatially agree with
this
 statement as it changes teenagers’ spending habits but may improve the person’s social skills. With constant interest in shopping emphasis the fact that it greatly influences
people
's investment. Since teenagers have a sense of curiosity and
also
 a snobbish desire for something
that is
 brand-new a shopping centre would provide a decent amount of products,
hence
 young to pay more than their approved finance. Another thing to consider with
this
 propensity is the overcrowded issue in most of the malls nowadays as an incredible amount of
people
 are killing their time in the shopping mall
However
, a worth-to-mention benefit when more
people
 are dedicated to meeting the shopping mall
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is developing your communication skill as they would be interacting with society more often.
Moreover
, young
people
 would have a higher chance to meet other person who have similar hobbies
therefore
 it make
people
 have better social with other adolescents. in Conclusion, adolescent of today's world spend most of their time in the mall which change spending usage and overcrowded but
also
 beneficial experience communication with
people
Submitted by David on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: