You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: The young today spend a large amount of their leisure time in shopping centres. It is feared that this could have a negative influence on the young and society. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this view? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #amount #leisure #time #centres #influence #society

Shopping centres are becoming a trend for youngsters nowadays, as most of their leisure time is spent on purchasing products.

Therefore

a gut feeling that it would effects negatively to teens and the community. I spatially agree with

this

statement as it changes teenagers’ spending habits but may improve the person’s social skills. With constant interest in shopping emphasis the fact that it greatly influences

people

's investment. Since teenagers have a sense of curiosity and

also

a snobbish desire for something

that is

brand-new a shopping centre would provide a decent amount of products,

hence

young to pay more than their approved finance. Another thing to consider with

this

propensity is the overcrowded issue in most of the malls nowadays as an incredible amount of

people

are killing their time in the shopping mall

However

, a worth-to-mention benefit when more

people

are dedicated to meeting the shopping mall

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is developing your communication skill as they would be interacting with society more often.

Moreover

, young

people

would have a higher chance to meet other person who have similar hobbies

therefore

it make

people

have better social with other adolescents. in Conclusion, adolescent of today's world spend most of their time in the mall which change spending usage and overcrowded but

also

beneficial experience communication with

people

Submitted by David on Fri Jun 30 2023

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

215 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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