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Band 5

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #refugees #assistance #food
High income
Add a hyphen
High-income
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nations
 should accept people
flee
Wrong verb form
fleeing
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 from their homes and support them with basic accommodation and daily
life
. I agree that
this
 statement because developing their
culture
and
Correct word choice
apply
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enhances
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
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 growth of the country. The development of
culture
 in
wealth
Replace the word
wealthy
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 countries comes from helping poverty people
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 do not have essential
life
 needs.
This those
Correct pronoun usage
These
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 people fled from their homes
settle
Correct word choice
and settle
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 in the rich
nations
 they can easily live and get essential daily lives. So that, they can learn and interact with the local community mostly they adopt their
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
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,
also
 social diversity come from different countries developing
the
Change the word
their
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culture
.
For example
,
refugee
Fix the agreement mistake
refugees
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live
Wrong verb form
living
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 in the USA often
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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try to teach and behave the ethos
with
Change preposition
of
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 the local communities.
On the other hand
, when rich
nations
 accept many refugees it improves their economic growth.
This
 is because refugees get the basic
life
 and immediately think
how
Change preposition
about how
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 they create something depending on their needs and attempt to start their own work, which causes the improvement of the business places.
Therefore
,
this
 is because increasing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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demand and supply that goes up the insurance rate of the country and takes a part
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the rising
the
Correct article usage
apply
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finance that the government gets.
For instance
, in Canada, every business that personal or private
companies
Fix the agreement mistake
company
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 should pay
the
Correct article usage
apply
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insurance per year. In conclusion, I agree that rich
nations
 should allow the refugees and support them with essential
life
 needs because of the improvement of social diversity
culture
 and rising
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
.
Submitted by Ikraam4me on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Refugees
  • Asylum seekers
  • Humanitarian aid
  • Integration
  • Multiculturalism
  • Economic impact
  • Public services
  • International law
  • Conventions relating to the status of refugees
  • Labor market
  • Cultural enrichment
  • Burden-sharing
  • Resettlement programs
  • Host country
  • Border security
  • Comprehensive policy
What to do next:
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