IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #refugees #assistance #food
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High income
Add a hyphen
High-income
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nations
Use synonyms
 should accept people
flee
Wrong verb form
fleeing
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 from their homes and support them with basic accommodation and daily
life
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. I agree that
this
Linking Words
 statement because developing their
culture
Use synonyms
and
Correct word choice
apply
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enhances
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
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 growth of the country. The development of
culture
Use synonyms
 in
wealth
Replace the word
wealthy
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 countries comes from helping poverty people
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 do not have essential
life
Use synonyms
 needs.
Linking Words
This those
Correct pronoun usage
These
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 people fled from their homes
settle
Correct word choice
and settle
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 in the rich
nations
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 they can easily live and get essential daily lives. So that, they can learn and interact with the local community mostly they adopt their
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
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,
also
Linking Words
 social diversity come from different countries developing
the
Change the word
their
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culture
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
refugee
Fix the agreement mistake
refugees
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live
Wrong verb form
living
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 in the USA often
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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try to teach and behave the ethos
with
Change preposition
of
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 the local communities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, when rich
nations
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 accept many refugees it improves their economic growth.
This
Linking Words
 is because refugees get the basic
life
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 and immediately think
how
Change preposition
about how
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 they create something depending on their needs and attempt to start their own work, which causes the improvement of the business places.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 is because increasing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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demand and supply that goes up the insurance rate of the country and takes a part
for
Change preposition
in
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 the rising
the
Correct article usage
apply
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finance that the government gets.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Canada, every business that personal or private
companies
Fix the agreement mistake
company
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 should pay
the
Correct article usage
apply
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insurance per year. In conclusion, I agree that rich
nations
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 should allow the refugees and support them with essential
life
Use synonyms
 needs because of the improvement of social diversity
culture
Use synonyms
 and rising
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
.
Submitted by Ikraam4me on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Refugees
  • Asylum seekers
  • Humanitarian aid
  • Integration
  • Multiculturalism
  • Economic impact
  • Public services
  • International law
  • Conventions relating to the status of refugees
  • Labor market
  • Cultural enrichment
  • Burden-sharing
  • Resettlement programs
  • Host country
  • Border security
  • Comprehensive policy
What to do next:
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