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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

TOPIC 3: Cycling is more environmentally friendly than other forms of transport. Why is it not popular in many places? And how to increase his popularity?

#topic #forms #transport #places #popularity
Although
 riding a bicycle is
so
Rephrase
apply
show examples
clearly a good way to protect the environment, not many
people
 around the world prefer
this
 type of vehicle. There are a number of reasons for
this
 trend and various measures could be taken to improve the issue.
To begin
 with,there are two main underlying explanations for the uncommon use of bicycles.
Firstly
, it would consume a considerable amount of time to travel by
this
 means of transport. Modern life is getting much busier than in the past, individuals nowadays
people
 want to save travel time by using other types of vehicles
such
 as motorbikes or cars.
Secondly
, cycling is more physically demanding than riding a motorbike or driving a car.
This
 tends to discourage
people
 from choosing
this
 method, especially on sunny days or when they have to move long distances. There are a couple of tactics that governments could use to promote the use of bikes.
Firstly
, the governments could impose higher taxes on fuel prices which would discourage many
people
 from using cars. With the increase in fuel prices,
people
 will choose the bicycle as their principal means of transport.
Secondly
, more lanes should be built to serve only cyclists. It provides comfort for cyclists
as well as
 makes it much faster to travel with bicycles. In conclusion, I believe that the leading causes of biking being not popular are its slowness and request to force users
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
tax imposition and plans to build bike lanes are conducive to the promotion of biking.

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task response
The essay provides a fairly clear response to the topic, but the main ideas could be organized more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
The essay demonstrates a satisfactory level of coherence and cohesion, but there is room for improvement in organizing the main points and transitioning between ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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