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Writing Samples
Band 6

some children spend hour every day on their smartphones. why this the case? do you think this is the positive or negative development.

#children #hour #smartphones #case #development
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Nowadays, many
children
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 spend more
time
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 with their smartphones rather than studying or playing outside with
friends
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. In my opinion, I think that
children
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 wasting
time
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 on devices is a negative development for young kids.
However
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, from my perspective
children
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 should spend more
time
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 learning is a good way to develop young kids.
Firstly
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, one of the reasons heir wasted
time
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 on their smartphone is they can access social media. Social media is platforms
such
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 as Facebook, Instagram and much more, these platforms provide
children
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 with more than just a connection they chat or call with their
friends
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 and share daily life with their online
friends
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.
This
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 may seem positive but the internet is a dangerous place for
children
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,
children
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 can get cyberbullied
similarly
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 to that
children
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 could addiction to social media. Another reason
children
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 spend so must
time
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 on smartphones is because the device could download music, video games, and movie and spend hours playing , watching and listening.
This
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 could be a positive thing for entertainment but it wasted
children
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's
time
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 and energy,
this
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 cost negatively on
children
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 because they could spend
time
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such
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 as doing homework, sports or with family and
friends
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. In conclusion,
children
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 spending hours on smartphones is a negative development.
Although
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 there are some benefits
such
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 as connecting with peers and providing entertainment for them the negatives outweigh the positives. The parent should look after their kids and guides them to use it properly and teach them to do other things for fun and much more.
Submitted by chengminh62 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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