Today people are surrounded by advertising. This affects what people think as important and has a negative impact on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? Give reasons f

#people #impact #people’s #lives #f

It is true that some

people

argue for population lives surrounded by advertisements, and

this

is a strike for

people

who believe

that is

important and affects

human’s

Change noun form

human

show examples

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

While

I accept that it may suit many

people

, I believe that it has benefits for several reasons. On the one hand, ads provide us with new information or new products.

Therefore

, in

this

era, if we live without advertisements, it looks like we don’t know everything about something

that is

important and it is happening. The adverse

give

Correct subject-verb agreement

gives

show examples

us a chance to choose the better goods that we could buy that follow the trends from the wide range

that is

available.

For example

, I recently purchased a phone, and before I go to buy

this

smartphone, I

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

watched the advertising before to add information about it.

On the other hand

, it will have a negative impact

for

Change preposition

show examples

humans who want to buy something without seeing the insight before. In

this

case, for advertising

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

they show

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

new products

such

as new skincare.

This

advertising gives us an interesting term, for that reason our mind thinks we must buy that product,

although

it is not our needs and might be high priced.

For example

, the new skincare from a brand that shows the best ingredients inside to make our skin great and

brightening

Replace the word

bright

show examples

However

, the price of that product is expensive. In conclusion, adverts have their advantages

as well as

disadvantages. In my view, it aids

people

to get insight about a product,

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

sometimes it will be a drawback for several situations.

Submitted by gabriellasada24 on Sat Jul 01 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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