IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows the proportion of renewable energy in total energy supply in 4 countries from 1997 to 2010.

The chart shows the proportion of renewable energy in total energy supply in 4 countries from 1997 to 2010.
#proportion #energy #countries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart illustrates the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of sustainable
energy
Use synonyms
 in total
energy
Use synonyms
 production in 4 particular countries from 1997 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Iceland
Use synonyms
 was the
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
 that had
largest
Change the article
the largest
show examples
proportion
Use synonyms
 of sustainable
energy
Use synonyms
 in
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 examined years,1997,2000 and 2010.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
Sweaden
Correct your spelling
Sweden
 and
Use synonyms
iceland
Change the capitalization
Iceland
show examples
 had an upward trend
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 of sustainable
energy
Use synonyms
 over 13 years. In 1997,
among
Change preposition
apply
show examples
 half of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
 from
Iceland
Use synonyms
 was come from renewable
energy
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 figure continued to climb steadily to 60%
in2000
Correct your spelling
in 2000
 and more than 70% in 2010.Meanwhile,Sweden had only approximately 5% of the entire amount of renewable
energy
Use synonyms
 come from total
energy
Use synonyms
 in 1997.It experienced
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
 trend
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
Iceland
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and had 7% and 9% in 2000 and 2010 separately. Regarding Australia,nearly 10% of
Use synonyms
energy
Add an article
the energy
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was produced from natural resources in 1997.
However
Linking Words
,it got slightly dropped over examined years and
bacame
Correct your spelling
became
 7%
in2000
Correct your spelling
in 2000
 and 5%
in2010
Correct your spelling
in 2010
.At the
last
Linking Words
,Turkey was
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 special country with
unique
Correct article usage
a unique
show examples
 figure.It had 38% of
Use synonyms
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
 of sustainable
energy
Use synonyms
 in 1997 and had a
slightly
Change the adverb
slight
show examples
 growth to over 40% in 2000,and had significantly decreased to 33% in 2010.
Submitted by goeyqihang on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, energy, iceland with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "examined" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • renewable energy
  • total energy supply
  • percentage
  • overall
  • changed
  • increases
  • decreases
  • fluctuating
  • trend
  • highest
  • lowest
  • significant
  • commitment
  • sustainability
  • environmental protection
What to do next:
Look at other essays: