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Band 6.5

Government investments in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a wate of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

#government #investments #arts #music #theatre #wate #money #services
Nowadays, there are contrasting opinions on whether investing in the
art
 by
government
 is a beneficial quality for
people
.
While
 acknowledging that
this
 activity might have some potential drawbacks and it would perform in public services
such
 as education and public transportation, it is told by those who are not pleased and think it is just wasting money on the
art
. I would argue that it plays a significant, positive role in developing
art
 and who faces it and
at the end
 of
this
 essay, I will explain my belief in it. The first advantage is for an artist who has received very little attention from society
moreover
, it is just a huge chance for them to develop their works of
art
.
Not to mention
 that
this
 benefit is not just for these
people
, it is even for other
people
hence
,
art
 affects everything
that is
 about us.
For instance
, the beauty of our houses, buildings, cars, styles and
also
 the looks of our city or country. It has a straight effect on our mental, and emotions.
On the other hand
, if the
government
 spend more money on
art
 than other essential things,
this
 balance would break since not only
people
 can not pleasure from
art
, but
also
 it makes
people
 angry and hated. To be more precise, it makes a situation where
people
 would be pressured because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
government
 can not manage perfectly their work in the country so, it is made a hard position for society.
To sum up
, my point of view is the total concept of
this
 paragraph.
In other words
, the investment of
government
 in artists has so much influence that everyone and
also
 me agrees with it, despite, doing it with management from the
government
,
generally
Add a comma
,generally
show examples
 it is the best work that has been done.
Submitted by y.maryam.2004 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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