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Writing Samples
Band 4

​​These days, more and more young people are suffering from long-term stress and anxiety. What do you think are the causes of this problem? What solutions can you suggest?

#​​these #people #stress #anxiety
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Mental health is one of
recent
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the recent
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 issues that happen among young adults. Long-term stress and anxiety are related
two
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to two
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 detrimental conditions that are increasing nowadays. In my opinion, there are some causes
and
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that
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 should be tackled with some solutions. There are some factors that cause
this
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 problem. Because of the globalisation era, to reach companies or
institutions
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institutions'
institution's
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 targets, many professional young people experience
work
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 pressure. They will
work
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 hard and put much attention to their targeted duties.
Moreover
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,
this
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 situation makes them stressed and panic when the due dates arrive. Another cause is people in productive age have limited leisure
time
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. They rarely spend
time
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 with their relatives or old friends
due to
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 their busy
schedule
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schedules
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. Rather than go outside, they prefer to take a rest or watch some movies on their own.
Although
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this
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 situation looks simple, it can affect their mental health in which they feel less motivation and inspiration. If it happens for a long period, it can lead to long-term stress. Some solutions can be applied to minimise
this
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 issue. Companies and institutions should consider some rules to help their staff
work
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 effectively and efficiently. They can limit
work
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time
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 schedules
according to
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 national standards and make rational goals every month
according to
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 the ability and how many staff they have per department.
In addition
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, young adults
also
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 can try to spend
time
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to entertain
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entertaining
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 themselves by going to the cinema
,
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apply
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 or
go
Wrong verb form
going
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 to some tourist destinations with their family and friends. Those kinds of activities can help them to reduce their stress and get some insights or motivation.
To conclude
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, the situation in the workplace can be the main cause but it
also
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 can be managed well by the authorities to help the young generation live their life happily.
Submitted by rizalestari on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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