IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people while others believe tgat the purpose of museum is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #museums #places #tgat #purpose #museum
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It is argued that some people believe that
museums
Use synonyms
 are for fun
while
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 the other part ensures that it is the place to acquire knowledge through a variety of tangible items (
such
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 as artefacts and specimens) . In my opinion, a
museum
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 can serve dual purposes,
although
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 education tends to play a larger part. With regard to educational purposes,
museums
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 teach us about the rich history through exhibitions and valuable tour guides. It means that people can learn about antiques, compare them with present translations and even predict future alternatives.
For instance
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 ,
usually
Add a comma
usually,
show examples
 there are many trips at high schools to various
museums
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 to keep up with innovative learning methods during teaching subjects like art, and history.In the capital of Kazakhstan, tourists and
just
Rephrase
apply
show examples
people who desire to visit the National
Museum
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 of the Republic of Kazakhstan are demonstrated with historical exhibits in order to study in detail the past of Kazakh ethnicity. It would be the most efficient way to draw people’s attention to yesterday. Turning to the aims of entertainment, it is evident that
museums
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 do not have profit-making activities. Many
museums
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therefore
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 sought to operate more activities to attract more visitors, in order for an additional entry fee to cover costs.
For instance
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, “The
Museum
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 of Tomorrow” is a science
museum
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 which is full of amusing and educational details at the same time.
Hence
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,
museums
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 can be an appealing way to spend spare time
as a result
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 of holding recreational events at the expense of balancing a budget. In conclusion, visiting
museums
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’ standards were altered, and divided into two options(educational and recreational). Personally, I suppose that visiting them for research purposes is more beneficial than spending time for fun.
Submitted by medetbaevk on

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task achievement
Provide a more balanced analysis of both views
lexical resource
Use more varied and precise vocabulary
grammatical range accuracy
Use a wider range of sentence structures

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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