Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the cause? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

In our modern world, spending a lot of time on mobile
phones
each day is been common in childhood as it is easier to access the facility devices. In my opinion, the use of technology equipment could have an impact on
children
’s minds.
This
essay will explain the negative way of overusing
smartphones
in
children
. First of all, the primary cause of mobile
phones
being used by young
children
is parents not having time to take care of their
children
.
For example
, more and more parents get to work early, and
then
they need to work hard all day. Which means
children
will not have adults to supervise them.
Consequently
, young
children
might tend to be addicted the electric devices.
Secondly
, the entertainment applications in
smartphones
as fighting enemies and cooking meal games are built
for
Change preposition
to
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attractive
Replace the word
attract
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several
children
.
For instance
, my little brother usually prefers to spend
time-fighting
Correct your spelling
time fighting
show examples
the game as ROV on mobile
phones
rather than playing with toys. Using telephones might impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
childhood period as a lack of social skills and health diseases. To illustrate, the aged of various young
children
are faced
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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obesity because they do not have physical activities with other friends and just play with their mobile
phones
on their beds.
Moreover
, they
also
misunderstand social skills as they do not learn how to interact with other
children
and the oldest people in the real world.
Also
, it affects the learning process, especially in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
primary school
children
because they should try hard and concentrate on their practices, but
smartphones
do not permit them to concentrate. In conclusion, It can be said that
smartphones
will help to find interesting information, but it has many impacts on
children
.
Therefore
, parents should have limitations on their
children
’s usage and be careful about accessing the internet by
children
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
playing violent games.
Submitted by phirayapimp on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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