IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some hold the view that ideas and information should be completely open, and there should be no controls on what people can read and watch in the media Do you agree with this view, or do you think that in some circumstances government should limit the freedom of the media.

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There are
people
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 who tend to believe that the
information
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 and
news
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 each individual
read
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reads
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 and
watch
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watches
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 on
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 should not be controlled. In my opinion, I think that in some special cases, the
government
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 should have some freedom limitation of the media.
Firstly
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, the most popular circumstance that should be intervented is that the users of the
information
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 are children and teenagers. These media consumers are not fully
awared
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aware
 of the potential risk of misleading and unconfirmed online
information
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.
Moreover
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, they are not likely to have the ability to identify the prestige and qualified source of
information
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 or verify the
news
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 they read online.
This
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 can lead to the result that their privacy and safety can be
threated
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treated
threatened
.
For instance
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, teenagers detest getting vaccinated because of the spreading of inaccurate
news
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 about
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the COVID19
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COVID19
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COVID-19
 vaccine causes a great number of dangerous side effects to
people
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.
Secondly
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, there are some sensitive topics that I
believed
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believe
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 should be reasonably restricted
such
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 as
politic
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politics
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. On the internet, there are all kinds of
people
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 in the society
therefore
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 there are various political
point
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points
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 of view.
People
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 with extreme
belief
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beliefs
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with
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in
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 their political
idea
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ideas
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 likely to spread hate toward the
government
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 in different ways on social media. The biggest consequence
can happened
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apply
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is that the public
tend
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tends
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 to be persuaded by
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
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hate speech and begin to fight against the
government
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. The final result is that the country can not develop sustainably. In conclusion,
news
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 and
information
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 should not be fully open. How the
government
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 limit these depends on what kind of
news
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 and how each individual
consume
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consumes
show examples
 these ideas.

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Task Response
The essay provides a clear opinion and addresses the prompt by discussing the need for government control over the media in specific circumstances. It presents relevant arguments to support the stance.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is well-structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point related to the topic. However, some areas could benefit from smoother transitions and a stronger link between ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fundamental rights
  • Freedom of expression
  • Access to information
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Well-informed
  • Accountability
  • Transparency
  • National security
  • Public order
  • Morality
  • Misinformation
  • Fake news
  • Propaganda
  • Vulnerable groups
  • Inappropriate content
  • Regulation
  • Democratic society
  • Responsible media
  • Social harmony
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