IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the proportion of businesses making e-commerce purchases by industry in Canada between 2015 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows the proportion of businesses making e-commerce purchases by industry in Canada between 2015 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#proportion #businesses #e-commerce #purchases #industry #canada #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The bar chart gives
information
 about the
percentage
 of corporations making
purchases
 in manufacturing,
construction
, wholesale, retail, and
information
 and communications from 2015 to 2019.
Overall
 the
percentage
 of the
purchases
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information
 and communications is the highest between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
manufacturing, retail,
construction
, and wholesale,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 lowest purchase
percentage
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
 the other categories is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Retail. Regarding the
proporation
Correct your spelling
proportion
preparation
 of the
purchases
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
manufacturing and
construction
, in 2015 it stood at 31% and 23% respectively. In 2016, the
purchases
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
manufacturing increased more than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
construction
 to nearly 51% and 30% respectively. The
purchases
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
manufacturing and
construction
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 over the period until 2019,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
stood at almost 58% and 55% respectively. With regard to the
percentage
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
purchases
 of wholesale and retail, in 2015 it stood at nearly 41% and 32% respectively. In 2016 the
percentage
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wholesale went up gradually to 50% and the retail
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 sharply to nearly 51%, in 2017 and 2018 they stayed the same. After that in 2019, the
percentage
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wholesale
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 more than the retail to nearly 63% and 55% respectively. In terms of the
percentage
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information
 and communications, in 2015, it stood at nearly 61%. In 2016 and 2017 it almost remained the same
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 70%, in 2018 it went up slowly to 75%.
At the end
 of the
period
Add a comma
,period
show examples
 it decreased to almost 69% in 2019.
Submitted by Sm9312934 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words information, percentage, purchases, construction with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: