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Writing Samples
Band 5

The pie chart shows the percentage of persons arrested in the five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the most recent reasons for arrest. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart shows the percentage of persons arrested in the five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the most recent reasons for arrest. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#percentage #persons #five #years #bar #arrest #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The pie chart illustrates the percentage of citizens who were prisoned in five years ending 1994 based on
genders
Fix the agreement mistake
gender
show examples
 and the part chart demonstrates
most
Add an article
the most
show examples
 imperative cause of
arresting
Replace the word
arrest
show examples
 in seven levels.
Overall
Linking Words
, the huge number of arrested people were males
however
Linking Words
, the most common reason for taking prison was public drinking that
women
Use synonyms
 were
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 level
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 with
men
Use synonyms
. It is observed that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
according to
Linking Words
 different genders thirty-two
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of males were arrested
while
Linking Words
 just nine
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
women
Use synonyms
 were prisoned in five years ending 1994.
Moreover
Linking Words
, sixty-eight
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
Use synonyms
men
Change preposition
of men
show examples
not
Add a missing verb
were not
show examples
 arrested and
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is less than females who were not prisoned. Unfortunately,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public drinking was the most important reason of arresting which involved 30
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
Use synonyms
men
Change preposition
of men
show examples
 and more than 35
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
Use synonyms
women
Change preposition
of women
show examples
. In against, 15
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
Change preposition
of male
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
Change preposition
of female
show examples
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 were prisoned
due to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
theft.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when drunk persons were driving, they were arrested
consists
Wrong verb form
consisting
show examples
 of 15
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
women
Use synonyms
 and 25
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
Use synonyms
men
Change preposition
of men
show examples
.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words women, men, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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