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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the top 10 countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the top 10 countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #countries #production #consumption #electricity #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The graph compares
differences
Correct article usage
the differences
show examples
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 ten
countries
Use synonyms
 worldwide
according to
Linking Words
amount
Add an article
the amount
an amount
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
electricity
Add an article
the electricity
show examples
 they generated and consumed in 2014. It is noticeable that the figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 China and
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States were much
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
larger than
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 eight
countries
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 most of
given
Correct article usage
the given
show examples
 individuals showed a trait which indicates more production and less consumption, Germany saw the only instance where the
later
Correct your spelling
latter
show examples
 number exceeded the former one. Nationally speaking, China ranked
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first with 5398
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
 of production and 5322
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
 of consumption, followed by
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States, which produced 4099
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
 and consumed 3866
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, standing
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
third,
Linking Words
Russia witnessed the most significant gap in both two numbers compared with the
last
Linking Words
 country.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, changes in
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of other
countries
Use synonyms
 demonstrated a trend
as
Change preposition
of
show examples
 steadily decreasing. When we compare the two given criteria, obviously, it is general that
countries
Use synonyms
 have produced more electricity than the amount they have consumed.
However
Linking Words
,
by contrast
Linking Words
, Germany was eye-attracting as it
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
generated 526.6
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
electricity
Change preposition
of electricity
show examples
, which was even more than the number they have consumed, as 582.5
billion
Use synonyms
kWh
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, billion, kwh with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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