IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English home. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given graph conveys information about the
electricity
Use synonyms
 use of England citizens throughout
summer
Use synonyms
 and
winter
Use synonyms
 periods and during typical days. The pie chart reports how
electricity
Use synonyms
 is used in homes on daily bases.
Overall
Linking Words
, from the line ,graph it is observed that demand for
electricity
Use synonyms
 is considerably higher during
winter
Use synonyms
 rather than
summer
Use synonyms
 periods. The use of electrical components in
summer
Use synonyms
 starts from a unit slightly lower than 2000,
whereas
Linking Words
 for
winter
Use synonyms
 the point begins from about 3500 units. The units' scale in
winter
Use synonyms
 fluctuates in the beginning, reaching its peak of 5000
at the end
Linking Words
. In
summer
Use synonyms
 the consumption is around 1000-2000 units, reaching the highest point towards nighttime. Most of the
electricity
Use synonyms
 is used to heat the apartment and the water, which is 52.5% of
overall
Linking Words
 usage. The lowest percentage of 15 is required for TV lighting, washing machines
as well as
Linking Words
 other householding items
such
Linking Words
 as vacuum cleaners and food mixers. A slightly higher scale of 17.5% is used for ovens, kettles and washing machines. Generally, the need for electrical tools increases with the start of cold seasons, though the scale rises during nights both for
summer
Use synonyms
 and
winter
Use synonyms
. More than half of the derived
electricity
Use synonyms
 is used for heat,
while
Linking Words
 the second half is needed for household appliances.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, summer, winter with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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