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Band 6.5

Some people think that public health within a country can be improved by government making laws regarding nutritious food. Others, however, think that health is a matter of personal choice and responsibility. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #health #country #government #laws #food #matter #choice #responsibility
Personal and public health are tightly related to
food
 choices.
While
 some
people
 believe that the government should regulate nutrition to ensure public wellness, others argue that it should be
people
’s decision whether to pursue a healthy diet or not.
This
 essay will discuss both points of view and explain why the authorities should not control the types of
food
people
 can buy. Legislators could impose laws concerning nutritious
food
 in an effort to have a healthier population,
hence
 decreasing public health costs. Even if
this
 could be considered a good idea, it would be very hard to implement. To achieve
this
 target, the officials could impose a levy on unhealthy foods, or reduce their availability on the market. In Italy,
for example
, products
such
 as carbonated sugary drinks and chips are heavily taxed.
As a result
, the sales of these items have decreased.
However
, if the authorities start to take control of what their citizens can or cannot eat, it may be deemed as curtailing customers’ freedom. Personal freedom is seen as an extremely important human right.
Therefore
, many
people
 think that only they should decide what
food
 and drink they consume
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and that it is wrong for governments to interfere with their personal choices. Doing so can indeed lead to public discontent. Alternatively, a better approach would be to launch awareness-raising campaigns about a healthy diet so that
people
 would be able to make better-informed dietary decisions themselves. All in all, authorities can exercise power to limit the selection of foods
people
 have access to, but that would not be without consequences.
Instead
, governments should invest in education programs to educate
people
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
 they can improve their health simply
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 making wiser decisions about what they eat.
Submitted by mahsa_hasanikousha on

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task response
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coherence and cohesion
Maintain logical progression of ideas and utilize cohesive devices to connect sentences and paragraphs.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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