IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

One of the major problems that faces today's government is creating enough satisfactory housing for their increasing population whilst still trying to protect the environment. Discuss this statement and give your opinion

#government #population #whilst #environment
In today's world
governments
 face
intimidating
Add an article
the intimidating
show examples
 challenge of providing the overgrowing population with sufficient housing
while
also
 protecting the environment.
This
 essay will examine the complexities related to
this
 issue and present arguments in favour of and against the aforementioned statement.
To begin
 with, the need for satisfying housing among the residents is undeniable. As populations and
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
 of urbanisation
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 growing,
governments
 face colossal pressure to meet the demands of people. Failure to address
this
 issue,
consequently
, will lead to several critical economic and social problems,
such
 as homelessness, overpopulation, and
rise
Correct article usage
the rise
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 housing costs. Recent
reasearch
Correct your spelling
research
 conducted by experts from the country of Kazakhstan validated the aforementioned statement, showing that after
government's
Correct article usage
the government's
show examples
 failed attempt to tackle the problem of overcrowding,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
housing prices went up by 70%.
However
,
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
 should keep in their mind that environmental conservation is equally crucial. Unstable housing control can lead to adverse environmental consequences,
such
 as increased carbon emissions, and habitat destruction. To avoid those impacts on the environment,
governments
 should implement various ways of preventing them, like effective waste management and so on. To illustrate, the Amazon rainforest has faced significant deforestation
due to
 an increasing pace
enhancement
Change preposition
of enhancement
show examples
 of infrastructure, in
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
,
released
Change the form of the verb
releasing
show examples
 carbon into the atmosphere in huge
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
, which coerced the government to implement
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
distinctive ecological preservation acts. To
counclude
Correct your spelling
conclude
, current
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
 face
daunting
Correct article usage
the daunting
show examples
 challenges of providing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
decent housing for residents
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
while
saveguarding
Correct your spelling
safeguarding
 the ecosystem. In my opinion, even though, keeping the balance between those aspects would be challenging,
governments
 must implement sustainable housing solutions
meeting
Change the verb form
to meet
show examples
 the residents' needs that will minimize the ecological damage
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: