IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Many believe that living in a city offers greater benefits compared to life in the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Write 250 words.)

#city #life #countryside
In the modern world, it has been a controversial topic that some
cities
 provide numerous conveniences more than rural
cities
,
while
 others suggest
otherwise
. After thorough consideration, I confidently believe that big
cities
 offer several benefits to their citizens. My opinion will be thoroughly examined in the following essay. It is undeniable that enormous
cities
 are chaotic and crowded
due to
 a high population density. Including huge pollution from other industries and traffic. the high economics of large
cities
 have the cost of living
that is
 expensive
according to
 the level of service development and crowded population.
This
 drawback increases burdens and duties to citizens that impact mental health,
such
 as stress, depression, and insomnia illness in the future.
Moreover
, traffic systems are uncomfortable
due to
 the number of vehicles that climb constantly.
This
 issue impacts physical health,
such
 as lung cancer, allergies, and internal organ inflammation. I seriously think that people are unhappy continually because of those drawbacks. On the paradoxical side,
cities
 have several services that support good life qualities for adolescents or young people.
For example
, children are advocated perfect education from the government more than local
cities
,
such
 as excellent experts, professors, and teachers. Children in
cities
 can obtain knowledge widely, and derive new theories and advanced things more than countryside juveniles.
Moreover
, not only large healthcare that has intelligent persons,
such
 as dentists, doctors, nurses, and doctor’s assistants, but
also
 has security systems,
such
 as police and fire stations. To recapitulate, even though some people may debate in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of local
cities
 that provide many benefits.
Nevertheless
, I strongly believe that diverse
cities
 offer essential services,
such
 as education, healthcare, and security systems better than local
cities
.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language
Focus on improving sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity and readability.
task response
Provide more specific examples to support your points, such as mentioning specific cities that exemplify the benefits discussed.
coherence & cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between paragraphs by using appropriate linking words and phrases.
task response
Clear position statement in the introduction, making the writer's opinion known from the outset.
coherence & cohesion
Addresses both sides of the argument, leading to a balanced discussion.
task response
Provides relevant points on both the drawbacks and benefits of city life.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • metropolitan
  • infrastructure
  • cosmopolitan
  • commute
  • sociocultural
  • prosperity
  • sustainability
  • rural
  • tranquility
  • urbanization
  • relocation
  • residential
  • populace
  • ecological footprint
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!