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Writing Samples
Band 3

computer games and films containing violence are popular today. since people think, that these are harmful for our society and the government shiuld ban them. others argue that such games and films are fine for entertainment. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.

#computer #games #films #violence #people #society #government #shiuld #ban #entertainment
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In
this
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 modern era, humans have got
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of ways to entertain themselves and technology is one of them.
According to
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 some
people
Use synonyms
, computer
games
Use synonyms
 and films that
includes
Correct subject-verb agreement
include
show examples
 violence should be
baned
Correct your spelling
banned
show examples
 by the government as they are harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
while
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 others believe that it is good entertainment. Before commenting on my decision we should discuss both the
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
. At
first,
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few
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
games
Use synonyms
 and films are fine for entertainment. Since everyone is working around the clock, so they want to entertain themselves by
siting
Correct your spelling
sitting
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 at home watching action
movies
Use synonyms
 and playing
games
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 rather than going outside.
In addition
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 to that going out
entertainment
Change preposition
for entertainment
show examples
 cause money, which is
also
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 another reason. On the other side, some
people
Use synonyms
 want
Correct article usage
the goverment
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goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 to ban
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
movies
Use synonyms
 and
games
Use synonyms
 as it has
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of negative
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
 on adults and children
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
.
voilent
Correct your spelling
violent
movies
Use synonyms
 give
people
Use synonyms
 ideas for robbery,
shoting
Correct your spelling
shooting
shouting
 and hitting.
People
Use synonyms
 get distracted from good things.
This
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 way there are more chances for
voilence
Correct your spelling
violence
 in
society
Use synonyms
 as
people
Use synonyms
 start following the movie starts,
Furthermore
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,
vedio
Correct your spelling
video
games
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 can take
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of
persons
Change the noun form
person
show examples
 time and distract them from
outside
Add an article
the outside
show examples
 world.
To conclude
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, in my opinion
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 should ban action
movies
Use synonyms
 and violent
games
Use synonyms
 that
ruines
Correct your spelling
ruin
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
. If
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 will ban
such
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movies
Use synonyms
, the producer will come up with something more
knowkedgable
Correct your spelling
knowledgeable
knowledgable
 and which will
also
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 have
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
efffect
Correct your spelling
effect
effects
 on
society
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by kaurubaman07 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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