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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in Britain in three periods and whether they were studying fulltime or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#men #women #education #britain #three #periods #fulltime #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given bar graph represents the detail about the count of
males
Use synonyms
 and females who did study in two different times in three distinct years.
Overall
Linking Words
 ,it can be clearly seen that the
students
Use synonyms
 of full-
time
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 were more than part-
time
Use synonyms
 in all the years in both genders. As can be seen in the chart ,
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1970 to 1971 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
males
Use synonyms
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 highest in
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 which calculate near
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1000
whereas
Linking Words
 the part-
time
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 were less than 200. In
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 two given
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of male
students
Use synonyms
 slightly reduced which noticed near
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
800 in full-
time
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 and
part-
Correct your spelling
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
males
Change the noun form
male
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 was roughly 200.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
males
Change the noun form
male
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 were above than 800 and 200 in full and part-
time
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 orderly.  Probing
further
Linking Words
 , the female
number
Use synonyms
 was
approxmately
Correct your spelling
approximately
 700 in
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 and less than 100 from 1970 to 1971 . The count of girls was almost 800 in full-
time
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 which was 4
Use synonyms
time
Change to a plural noun
times
show examples
 less in
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1970 to 1971 .
Moreover
Linking Words
 , the maximum count of women
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 in full-
time
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 which
oberved
Correct your spelling
observed
 more than 1000 and properly 200 in part-
time
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by kirandkaur131 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words males, students, education, number, time with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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