IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the consumption of 4 kinds of meats in a European country from 1979 to 2004.

The line graph shows the consumption of 4 kinds of meats in a European country from 1979 to 2004.
#line #consumption #kinds #meats #european #country
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The line graph illustrated
fish
Use synonyms
 and meat consumption per
week
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 in a European country.
Overall
Linking Words
,
fish
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 ingestion every
week
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 has always been
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Change the word
its
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 lowest since 1979 until 2004.
Additionally
Linking Words
, beef is the most popular amongst the
europeans
Change the capitalization
Europeans
show examples
 in 1979 which marks the most ingested in a
week
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 for a single person of 220
grams
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. Looking at the details, lamb and chicken
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 eaten 150
grams
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 and 140
grams
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 respectively weekly by an individual in 1979,
although
Linking Words
 lamb will see a decrease in trend and eventually reached a bottom of 60
grams
Use synonyms
 a
week
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while
Linking Words
 chicken continues to climb and hit the highest in the graph at 240 at the year 2004. Now turning to beef and
fish
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, we can see that beef was the most popular meat in 1979 will start declining in 1987 and at
last
Linking Words
fall
Replace the word
fell
show examples
 to 110
grams
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 in one
week
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 coming in second as the choice of meat by europe people in 2004,
while
Linking Words
fish
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 have always been the least favourite food since 1979 starting at 51
grams
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 and come to only 49
grams
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 of
fish
Use synonyms
 weekly in 2004.
Submitted by honzent99 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words fish, week, grams with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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