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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems.To what extend do you agree?

#people #money #roads #motorways #transport #systems
Some
people
 opine that they should invest more in roads and motorways rather than public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
. Each type has different
benefits
 so I partially agree with the opinion. 2 remarkable
benefits
 can be seen when
people
 spend more money on roads and highways.
Firstly
,travelling on
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
 is very flexible. There is a strict timetable and established route for railroads, ships, and
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
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.
However
, with options like groupage transport, road transport provides more flexibility in terms of adjusting to delivery timings
as well as
 package amount.
Next,
it is more profitable to invest in motorways. The least expensive mode of
transportation
 is the road. The primary explanation is that a truck or a car doesn't need as much specialized infrastructure,
such
ports
Change preposition
as ports
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, stations, or airports, and it is less expensive than a ship or a plane.
People
 can have many
benefits
 when spending money on
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 transport system. The first one is it brings health
benefits
 to the community.Since they have to walk
between
Change preposition
from
show examples
 station to station, commuters who use public
transportation
 walk considerably more than the typical driver.
As a result
, public
transports
Change the noun form
transport
show examples
 users can have healthier
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
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 with lower obesity
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
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, happier
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
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 and more
productive
Replace the word
productivity
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 at work.
Next,
it is easier to travel anywhere with public
transportation
. Everyone's personal mobility is made possible by the availability of public
transportation
, which gives them the freedom to travel almost
anyplace
Correct your spelling
any place
show examples
.
For example
,a large number of
people
 are unable to drive, and they can unchallengingly travel with public trains, planes or buses. In conclusion, each
types
Change to a singular noun
type
show examples
 of
transportation
 has its own
benefits
 so
people
 should invest in both types.
Submitted by cathyngo1512 on

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Task Achievement
Expand on your ideas with more detailed examples to fully support your arguments. This will enhance the clarity and depth of your discussion.
Language Use
Maintain consistent use of formal language and avoid colloquial expressions to enhance the overall formality of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider organizing your paragraphs more clearly by separating them with clear lines or indentations to improve readability.
Task Achievement
You've done an excellent job in maintaining a balanced argument by discussing the benefits of both roads/motorways and public transportation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the discussion.
Language Use
You successfully used a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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