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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that unpaid community services should be a compulsory part of high School programs (for example working for a charity improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports youngsters).To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #community #services #part #school #programs #charity #neighbourhood #sports #youngsters
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Some
kids
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 spend their
time
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 only with their immediate household
while
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 growing up.
However
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, others get
time
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 to spend with their friends, cousins and relatives. I think the second type would be a healthier option since they can improve their social skills from a very young age itself by spending
time
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 with more
people
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.
Firstly
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, the
kids
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 who grow up with their immediate family will find that they have more
time
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 than others.
Due to
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this
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 reason, they might spend
time
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 by themselves more, and
hence
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, they can get addicted to mobile games, browsing, or any
such
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 habits. Sometimes, these habits might develop into healthy hobbies, but there are chances that they will suffer from a lot of personality disorders, communication problems, etc. if they spend more
time
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 by themselves only.
Hence
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, I think it's healthier for a kid, to grow up with more family around them.
In addition
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,
kids
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 who grew up with relatives and friends tend to be more flexible with sharing their own things. They develop sharing mentality from a very young age itself since they would not receive any special treatment
due to
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 the number of
people
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 in the family. More the
people
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 in a family, the more flexible they will become.
Also
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, they will have more
people
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 to share their personal issues when they cannot share some uncomfortable things with their mother or father.
On the contrary
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, one disadvantage is that they can become more distracted from their studies or ambition since they get only less
time
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 for their own hobbies or passions. In conclusion, I believe
kids
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 who grow up with more family around them have more advantages, but they have to make sure that they have enough
time
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 for their own passion and hobbies, and they don't lose their individuality.
Submitted by hemaecengineer on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Civic duty
  • Altruism
  • Empathy
  • Community engagement
  • Social cohesion
  • Philanthropy
  • Volunteerism
  • Work ethic
  • Social responsibility
  • Teamwork
  • Nonprofit sector
  • Service learning
  • Experiential education
  • Moral education
  • Integration
  • Equal opportunities
  • Skill development
  • Youth empowerment
  • Personal growth
  • Grassroots
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