Some people think parents should supervise their children's activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

While
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it is commonly thought
Use synonyms
parents
Correct word choice
that parents
show examples
should supervise their
children
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’s
activities
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,
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while
Change preposition
apply
show examples
others believe
children
Use synonyms
should have more
freedom
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. I’m going to discuss these opposing points of view. In my opinion,
parents
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should let them
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
more
freedom
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. On the one hand, it is argued that
parents
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should supervise their
children
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’s
activities
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. The main reason is that the
children
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, nowadays, can access
to
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apply
show examples
knowledge or anything in the world with
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
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and
also
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some bad things. The
children
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aren’t mature enough to know what
good
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is good
show examples
or bad for them. Constant guidance helps
preventing
Wrong verb form
prevent
show examples
them from engaging in harmful
behaviors
Use the right word
behaviours
show examples
,
such
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as excessive screen time, substance abuse or associating with negative influences. Another reason
that
Verb problem
is that
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, by overseeing academic and extracurricular
activities
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,
parents
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can ensure their
children
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stay focused and achieve their goals.
For instance
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, many high-achieving students confirm that
thank
Correct subject-verb agreement
thanks
show examples
for
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to
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their
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parents
Check wording
parents'
show examples
involvement, they can succeed.
On the other hand
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, others claim that giving them more
freedom
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.
Firstly
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, it encourages their responsibilities and self-confidence. When
children
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are allowed to make decisions, they can learn from their mistakes and develop
solve-problem
Correct word choice
problem-solving
show examples
skills.
For example
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, allowing the child to manage their study schedule may help them know the importance of time management.
Secondly
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, being too
control
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controlling
show examples
can destroy the relationship between kids and
parents
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, leading to rebellion or lack of trust. In conclusion, it is commonly thought that
parents
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should supervise their
children
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’s
activities
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,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
meanwhile, others assume that
children
Use synonyms
should have more
freedom
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. Personally, I tend to believe that giving kids more
freedom
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can do more good than harm. BANDSCORE & GENERAL COMMENTS ASSESSMENT CRITERIA VOCABULARY STATISTICS

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task
Task response: The essay talks about both sides and gives a view, but some ideas lack a clear plan. Add a clear plan in the intro, state your view, then give one main idea per paragraph with a short example, and finish with a clear restatement of your view in the conclusion.
coherence
Coherence and cohesion: Use a clear link between each idea. Begin each paragraph with a simple sentence that states its point and end with a short line that sums it up. Use simple words like first, also, but, so, then to show order.
content
The writer tries to talk about both sides and has some good ideas.
example
There is a real example about how parents can help high-achieving students.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • watch
  • guide
  • limit
  • allow
  • freedom
  • safety
  • risk
  • trust
  • rule
  • choice
  • decision
  • child
  • parent
  • home
  • school
  • time
  • study
  • help
  • grow
  • plan
  • talk
  • listen
  • explain
  • reason
  • calm
  • respect
  • mature
  • age
  • family
  • future
  • example
  • balance
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