Writing Task 2: You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people think parents should supervise their children's activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

One of the social concerns today relates to
parents
and their offspring.
While
it is widely believed that
parents
should supervise their offspring’s activities closely, others believe offspring should have more freedom. I am going to discuss these opposing points of view. In my opinion, the youngster needs the environment to educate and develop their abilities. On the one hand, it is argued that
parents
should supervise their offspring’s activities closely. The main reason is that
parents
easily teach their kids many skills. It is
also
possible to say that knowing a baby’s abilities and investing properly. One good illustration of
this
is childlike music maybe a parent buys a musical instrument. Another reason is the kid may be dependent on their parent.
For example
,
parents
work all things, so their youngster is a person who is not independent.
On the other hand
, it is strongly believed by others that believe offspring should have more freedom. People often have
this
opinion because promotes the creativity of offspring. A second point is that the offspring just work in anything they like, but they do not know what they need for the future. A particularly good example here is a baby is too free, so it is not wise when facing big problems in future. In conclusion, it is commonly thought that
parents
should supervise their offspring's activities closely; meanwhile, others assume that offspring should have more freedom. Personally, I tend to believe that
a baby
Wrong verb form
babies
show examples
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
education from their
parents
.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction provides a clearer outline of the essay. Your opening paragraph should clearly state the two views and your own position. This is vital for setting the stage for a well-structured argument.
coherence cohesion
Develop paragraphs with a single main idea, supported by specific examples and explanations. Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting details.
task achievement
Refrain from the repetitive and ambiguous use of terms such as 'offspring' and 'baby'. Use diverse and appropriate vocabulary that accurately reflects the meaning you intend to convey, such as 'children' or 'adolescents,' depending on context.
task achievement
Your essay lacks specific examples to support your ideas. When discussing both views, provide concrete examples or experiences to illustrate your points better and to effectively meet the task requirement.
task achievement
Work on a clear and direct thesis statement in your introduction, and ensure it's addressed throughout the essay. The conclusion should summarise the main points and clearly state your position once again, ensuring a complete response to the prompt.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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