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Band 3.5

One of the major problems that faces today's government is creating enough satisfactory housing for their increasing population whilst still trying to protect the environment.

#government #population #whilst #environment
One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is
construction
Add an article
the construction
a construction
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 of accommodations, which will be fully likeable by society and keep the prosperous state of
environment
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the environment
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. It is undeniable that urbanization is an essential factor of
nation's
Correct article usage
a nation's
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developing
Replace the word
development
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.
However
, there is no absolute agreement about
this
 statement. A commonly held belief is that
with
Change preposition
by
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 creating new housing or buildings generally, nature is deteriorating. As evidence of
this
Add a comma
,this
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 they point to that for
constructing
Replace the word
construction
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, people ought to cut down trees, which, undoubtedly, contributes to worsening the quality of air.
Furthermore
, it influenced on population's health and their breathing system. It could be explained by the fact that it is
well known
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well-known
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 how plants and forests clean the air, by absorbing carbon dioxide and releasing oxygen,
accordingly
, deforestation leads to a decrease in air purification.
On the other hand
,
building
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the building
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 of abundance housing gives
community
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the community
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a great deal of
Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
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 opportunities and possibilities for
developing
Replace the word
development
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 in metropolitan areas.
For example
, thanks to
this
 people from
Correct article usage
the countrysides
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countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
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 can get out into a better life, where they may find an excellent occupation and corresponding salary and have quality health care. Eventually, it may be the solution
of
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to
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mostly
Correct your spelling
most
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 global problems. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account I would argue that it has both sides with as beneficial, as adverse consequences,
consequently
Add a comma
,consequently
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 it is necessary to find the balance in order to don't damage anyone or anything.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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