IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some believe that people who do physical work should be paid on par with the people who have high level degree. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
Some individuals are of the view that
people
Use synonyms
 who engage in physical jobs are to be paid equally
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
 scholars who have high degrees. In my opinion, I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I will elaborate
further
Linking Words
 on my reasons and give some examples to support it.
Body · 1
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
people
Use synonyms
 may not find the need to pursue higher education when they're paid equally with
people
Use synonyms
 who don't have certificates.
For example
Linking Words
, a survey conducted in 2022 in Africa showed that individuals who worked before university always regret furthering their career since they were paid well.
Hence
Linking Words
, when they equally earn as a master
holder
Punctuation problem
holder,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 they will be reluctant
in being
Change preposition
to be
show examples
 educated since they will get the same money as a master holder. 
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there will be misunderstanding among workers on who is to be paid what amount of money.
Body · 2
Additionally
Linking Words
, some
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
 categories may need educated workers and not just
people
Use synonyms
 physically fit for it.
For instance
Linking Words
, a hospital may need a trained doctor
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 that doctor cannot be paid the same salary as the cleaner because the job doctors do still do not match up to a person who does physical work.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they cannot take the same salary
at the end
Linking Words
 of the working period.
Conclusion
In conclusion, a person who does a physical job and a certificate holder
all
Correct determiner usage
both
show examples
 play a great role in their job description and
deserves
Correct subject-verb agreement
deserve
show examples
 to be paid well. In my opinion, I disagree with the idea of paying degree holders equally
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
 physical
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 because they will feel reluctant
in going
Change preposition
to go
show examples
 to school
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 there will be
misunderstanding
Replace the word
misunderstandings
show examples
 among workers.

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focus
Make your view clear at once and keep it in every part of the essay.
structure
Use one main idea in each paragraph and start with a clear topic sentence.
content
Give more clear and strong examples that match your idea.
lexical
Choose simple, exact words and fix wrong forms.
grammar
Check grammar and sentence form, like subject and verb.
strength
Clear stance and good use of linking words
strength
The essay is organized into paragraphs with a conclusion
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