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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing.

Shortage
Correct article usage
A shortage
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 in the countryside will lead to slow development and it may affect
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the country cannot grow equally. Personally, I firmly believe that populations in the countryside are decreasing when rural
people
Use synonyms
 are moving to cities and urban
areas
Use synonyms
 is a negative development The number of
people
Use synonyms
 who live in cities or urban
areas
Use synonyms
 becomes too much when quantity relentlessly increases. It leads to many problems like traffic jams, congestion, higher price to rent a house and
chaotic
Correct article usage
a chaotic
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 pace.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
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 of life will not be better than the time when
people
Use synonyms
 still live in the countryside or do not have the ability to meet the needs of everyone.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Add an article
the road
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road
Fix the agreement mistake
roads
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 usually crowded and narrow are too difficult for driving and
also
Linking Words
 slow the process of going home for each of us
while
Linking Words
citizens
Change noun form
citizens'
citizen's
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 health are being affected by
take
Change the form of the verb
taking
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 in lots of smog in their lungs
Moreover
Linking Words
, crimes in these popular
areas
Use synonyms
 grow every day, so being aware of
this
Linking Words
 is essential for a person who just moved to live here for the first time. A lot of underlying
risk
Change to a plural noun
risks
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 if they do not know about many types of social crimes. Criminal wrongdoing with an intelligent trick would easily lie to any person if that one barely searches for news
that is
Linking Words
 related to social issues.
For example
Linking Words
, a guy would choose one person who is admitted as the victim of the theft to ask for the way to go to a place,
then
Linking Words
 lengthen the conversation to trance that one to freely give a purse or gold bracelet or anything else that has a high price on
body
Add an article
the body
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. In conclusion, moving to cities or urban
areas
Use synonyms
 is not a bad option to support
people
Use synonyms
 to have the same knowledge.
However
Linking Words
, there will be negative development in many aspects of the country if rural
areas
Use synonyms
 have too few
people
Use synonyms
.

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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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