IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

1.Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In
this
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 fast-growing
world
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,
technology
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 has definitely taken the leading role. With advancements in
technology
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, some people advocate that it has helped
an
Correct article usage
apply
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individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 to interact more when compared to previous times. I strongly agree with the given view, with an explanation in the
below paragraphs
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paragraphs below
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. The majority of people
do
Verb problem
apply
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possess smart gadgets like smartphones and laptops. These electronic devices help an individual connect with the
world
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 by just sitting in one place. First of all, many applications have been developed
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 that support virtual meetings and help in holding online conversations.
This
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 progress in online mechanisms has
also
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 helped in tracing down old family connections that had been lost over time. People of similar interests form a social community and share their activities and learn from each other.
For instance
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, my childhood friend who had moved to Thailand
,
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apply
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 had lost a connection with me for a couple of years, until
,
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 we found each other back on the social media platform by sharing some basic details of each other.
This
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 has surely helped in reviving our friendship that was lost
due to
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 geographical boundaries.
However
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, as every coin has two sides, even the enhancement in
technology
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 has an ill effect. Every activity is now just a click away.
On the other hand
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, the younger generation now has no form of physical activity and refuses to interact with their fellow mates in the real
world
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. Everything they do is now in their virtual
world
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. A recent survey conducted by Universal Psychological Centre
,
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apply
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 states that 8 out of 10 teenagers
,
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apply
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 prefer staying home to enjoy themselves
than
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rather than
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 going out for picnics.
This
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 brings to our notice the level of gadget addictiveness in the modern generation.
To sum up
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,
technology
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 is an important part of our lives, but it shall be used
certain
Change preposition
within certain
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 limits in order to gain full benefits. Overuse can cause damage in the long run.

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task response
State your view clearly in the first lines and keep to 1 or 2 main ideas. Explain them with points that fit the question and avoid adding too many new ideas.
coherence
Use clear topic sentences at the start of each paragraph. Link ideas with simple words like 'first', 'also', 'but', 'however' to show order and contrast.
task response
Strong position on the topic is clear
coherence
Essay follows a simple, easy-to-read structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion
task response
Useful examples from life to support points
Topic Vocabulary:
  • social interaction
  • connect
  • communicate
  • video conferencing
  • stay in touch
  • online communities
  • forums
  • like-minded individuals
  • global communication
  • collaboration
  • access to information
  • knowledge
  • bridge the gap
  • social isolation
  • detachment
  • face-to-face communication
  • genuine human connection
  • maintain
  • real-life interactions
  • balance
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