What are the advantages and disadvantages of living a number of different places during your childhood years?

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Due to
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the change in society, many
children
Use synonyms
have experienced numerous houses during their childhood. From my perspective, I believe it can bring both benefits and drawbacks because of the following reasons. First of all, living in different places can have many advantages.
This
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can vary the
children
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's knowledge about places.
For example
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, if Vietnamese
children
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come to live in America, it can improve these kid's English
as well as
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the culture of America.
Moreover
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, coming to other places or nations can expand kids' relationships.
As a result
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,
this
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can broaden an infant's horizon, quick adaptation and increase the ability to deal with different circumstances.
Although
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having
Wrong verb form
they have
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these benefits, there are some situations that affect negatively to
children
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. If the environment in the new area does not fit the kid's personality or ways of living, it can be a concern.
For instance
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, a dark side in Japan is that people from other nations who come to
this
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country often have to face racial discrimination. A Vietnamese adolescent
youtuber
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YouTuber
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has shared that when he came to a bank in Japan when the staff had seen the nation he came from, she immediately switched her
manner
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manners
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and told his wife to come home,
this
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not only happens to adults but
also
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children
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.
As a result
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,
this
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can impact some sensitive person's mental health, and cause cultural shock. In some extreme cases can
also
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cause depression during a kid's formative years. In conclusion, because of globalization, many parents have to change their workplace which can improve
children
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's knowledge
as well as
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racism.
Submitted by pupeos1902 on

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task response
Your essay addresses the advantages and disadvantages of living in different places during childhood. However, the development of the ideas lacks depth and clarity. Make sure to fully address all parts of the question and provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The organization of your essay is adequate, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Consider using more transition words and structuring your paragraphs in a clearer way to enhance coherence and cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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