IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

2.Some people think that a person improves their intellectual skills more when doing group activities. To what extent do you agree? Use specific details and examples to explain your view

#people #person #skills #group #activities
Few individuals state that intellectual
skills
 can be gained by interacting with many people. I firmly
favor
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favour
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 the view, that interactive activities
enhances
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enhance
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 thinking, reasoning and
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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overall
 capacities.
To begin
 with, there are numerous
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of evidences
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evidences
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evidence
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 that, brainstorming has always
positive
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had positive
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 results. When two or more individuals plan to work together, they first need to chalk down a plan by exchanging each other’s
point
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points
show examples
 of view.
This
,
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apply
show examples
 helps in knowing their ideology to deal with a particular situation. Exchanging one’s point of view
,
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apply
show examples
 enables
other
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others
show examples
 to understand and think out of the box.
On the other hand
, having yourself enrolled in group activity benefits you by improving your logical thinking
as well as
problem solving
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problem-solving
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skills
.
Majority
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The majority
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 of
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the times
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times
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time
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, people end up being encouraged to adopt the positive habits of their mates.
Thus
,
this
 motivates them to be more confident under any circumstance.
In addition
 to confidence building, there are multiple benefits of being socially interactive.
For instance
, a
college going
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college-going
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 student’s intellectual
skills
 develop when they work together in harmony to
compete
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complete
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 a given task. In order to achieve the given project,
student’s
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students
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firstly
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first
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 need to learn to think in a different way, agree or
dis-agree
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disagree
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other
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with other
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 student’s
idea
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ideas
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, and work under pressure. These activities develop their cognitive
skills
, enabling them to be more active at all times. Group activities
gives
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give
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 a fair chance for the
under confident
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underconfident
show examples
 to adapt new environment.
To conclude
, there are multiple
skills
 that can be developed in social activity, but an individual’s identity shall not be overtaken.
Submitted by yusra.f.jaffer on

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task response
The essay addresses the prompt but lacks depth and thorough exploration of the topic. It could benefit from expanding on the ideas and providing more detailed examples to support the viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is somewhat effective, with a clear organization of ideas. However, the introduction and conclusion need to be more developed to provide a stronger framework for the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • intellectual skills
  • group activities
  • collaborative learning
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • communication
  • interpersonal skills
  • diverse perspectives
  • creativity
  • individual study
  • personal reflection
  • autonomy
  • learning styles
  • approaches
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