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Writing Samples
Band 8

The chart below gives information about science qualifications held by people in two countries.

The chart below gives information about science qualifications held by people in two countries.
The bar chart compares the ratio of
people
Use synonyms
 qualifying in science in 2 different Asia nations.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
while
Linking Words
 most
people
Use synonyms
 experience no qualification in science, the opposite is true for
people
Use synonyms
 having master's degrees.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the percentage of Malayans is bigger than that of Singaporeans in almost factors. As can be seen in the chart, the ratio of
people
Use synonyms
 having master's degrees is the same in the two countries, particularly at about 13%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the percentage of Singaporeans experiencing Bachelor's qualifications is twice as big as Malayans ones, specifically at 20% and 10% respectively. Looking at the chart for more details, the differences between Singapore and Malaysia
people
Use synonyms
 in the figures for school leaving exams and no qualifications in sciences are the same at about 5%. To be precise, the number of Malyans having no degrees in science hits the biggest point in the bar at 65%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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