IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In recent years, many local shop owners have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or negative development?

#years #shop #owners #customers #travel #centers #malls #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
As
people
Use synonyms
 are choosing to
by
Correct your spelling
buy
show examples
goods
Use synonyms
 from shopping
centres
Use synonyms
 or
malls
Use synonyms
 because
thre
Correct your spelling
they
 gets
quit
Correct your spelling
quite
show examples
 low rate
goods
Use synonyms
 from there.
This
Linking Words
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 both effect good and bad. As large shopping
centres
Use synonyms
 or
malls
Use synonyms
 are been developed so more
people
Use synonyms
 are getting
a jobs
Correct the article-noun agreement
a job
jobs
show examples
. Shopping from places like D-mart, Jio mart and many more a public gets a great discount from
this
Linking Words
.
Nowdayas
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
, there is a trend of purchasing products from big places.
Mall
Add an article
The mall
show examples
 needs a large number of workers to work in it and run it and manger it so, by
this
Linking Words
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
 lot many
people
Use synonyms
 will get employment. As mall
goods
Use synonyms
 and
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
 are
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 discounted rates poor
people
Use synonyms
 will
also
Linking Words
 be able to
affort
Correct your spelling
afford
 to go
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
malls
Use synonyms
. There are so many positive sides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 big
centres
Use synonyms
.
Due to
Linking Words
 large ,
malls
Use synonyms
 poor
people
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 getting facilities
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 low price. There are even negative sides
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the opening of big shopping
centres
Use synonyms
 or
malls
Use synonyms
 like many
shop
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
keeper
Fix the agreement mistake
keepers
show examples
 have to close
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 shops and need to find
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 or
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
, which leads to unemployment. Local
shop
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
keeper
Fix the agreement mistake
keepers
show examples
 are not getting more profits as
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
big businessmen are getting.
Due to
Linking Words
 shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 small or local
shop
Use synonyms
 is not able to get high profits compare to the past. Small or local
shop
Use synonyms
keeper
Use synonyms
 should
asks
Wrong verb form
ask
show examples
 for
loan
Fix the agreement mistake
loans
show examples
 from governments. As large shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 or
malls
Use synonyms
 are getting great profits should help small or local
shop
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
keeper
Fix the agreement mistake
keepers
show examples
.
Goverments
Correct your spelling
Governments
 should help local
Use synonyms
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
 and provide
a loans
Correct the article-noun agreement
a loan
loans
show examples
 if there are in need of it. Governments should
also
Linking Words
 spot
malls
Use synonyms
 because they are providing
goods
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 high discounts or in low prices.
Submitted by purvametaliya99  on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: