IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

in the modern world it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Show advantage and disadvantage

#world #shop #work #people #internet #contact #show #advantage
Since technology’s development, many
people
 are accustomed to using the
internet
 to buy things or to communicate with friends and colleagues. As far as I am concerned, the benefits of using the
internet
 in these realms surpass its drawbacks. The dominant merit of using the
internet
 to communicate is that it breaks the restraint of locations and makes
people
 keep in touch easily. More precisely,
people
 just need to take a phone call in several seconds rather than a long journey to meet each other.
For instance
, in working situations, many colleagues are in different cities, but they can have an online meeting through applications
such
 as ZOOM. It is convenient to use the
internet
 to have visible communication online, yet
people
 do not need to go on a business trip anymore.
In addition
, the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 has offered various options for shopping. To be exact,
people
 can browse several shops online in just a few hours and compare which one to buy. Merchants offer different types of displays, which include pictures, videos and even an artificial intelligence model.
Thus
, consumers can make their decisions through distinct brands or commodities' traits online.
On the other hand
, it is inevitable that
people
’s literary level is descending by relying on the
internet
. Since the
internet
 has become prevalent,
people
 are accustomed to using emojis or voice messages to express the contents rather than a whole sentence. Many formal grammar or difficult words are forgotten or misused on many occasions. Gradually,
people
 become less patient to speak or to type a correct sentence, let alone an intact essay. In conclusion, I deem that the merits of using online communication methods include convenient communication and various choices when purchasing, but the defect is evidence, in
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
our language skills are worse than before.
Submitted by anglexlj on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: